How Many Freshman Roommates Is Ideal? Dear Betch…

Dear Betch,

I'm in desperate need of help. I'm a betch in training and I'll be going to college next year. I met two girls who I immediately clicked with and the three of us agreed to be roommates next year. As college approaches I'm starting to get anxious that I made a mistake. I know three is a hard number and I obviously have to be the roommate with the power among the three of us. I'm worried that my other two roommates will like each other more than they like me. I know these insecurities don't sound betchy but trust me, I know that Nice really is just a place in France.


A Betch in Need

Dear Betch in Need,

Roommates can either make or break the college experience. My first question is: did you meet these girls at like an accepted students revisit day? Is that a thing these days? In my day if you didn’t room with betches from your high school that were going to your college, you had to suffer like a basic and get lottery-d into a room. But if you were lucky enough to find girls who you don’t think you will murder in the next 12 months, good for you. (So there is one sign that you are actually a betch in training, betches love winning.)

As for your question, “should you room with 2 other girls?”, this is tricky because this could either go really well or horribly bad. Option 1: You are right in that you need to establish dominance right away, you want to be the one that both of them want to hang out with. If you are able to successfully do this then you will be set because even if one of them is out you will always have a pregame buddy, which is a must freshman year since you aren’t in a sorority yet.

Since it sounds like you have literally already filled out the form to have these girls as roommates, you better hope for option 1 because option 2 is a fucking disaster.

Option 2: If you are unable to establish dominance, just like in any three-way (you kinky betches out there know what I mean), you are going to constantly have FOMO because the other 2 will be besties and you will be the 3rd wheel. If this happens, they will start to do stuff without you and all of a sudden everyone will be talking shit and when you are at war with the 2 vaginas you share a mini-fridge with life is not that great.

When it comes to roommates, don’t fuck around.


The Betches

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