How Do I Stop My Skin From Looking Old As Fuck? Dear Betch…

Dear Betch,

I was wondering if I should be caring more about my skin while I'm young and it still looks good? I have naturally good skin now and I would like to make sure it stays that way when I'm old.  I use sunscreen and I use a moisturizer with spf in it but should I be doing more? Masks? Exfoliating? Something?


Trying to be still be pretty at 50

Dear Trying to be Pretty,

Congratulations for having your priorities in place. It’s a lot easier to prevent something than it is to fix it (see: pregnancy). But tbh looking good when you’re old and gross is mostly about what kind of genes are passed down to you, so you might already be fucked. If your mom and grandma don’t look bangin, God and botox can only help you. However, if they still look sort of good or at least aren’t krypt keepers yet, then you may have a shot at this “pretty at 50” thing you so desp. want.

Another congratulations for using SPF. Sort of love that you’ve chosen to be an overachiever, but you actually don’t need to use sunscreen and a moisturizer with SPF in it. Just the sunscreen will work, but make sure it’s at least 30.

Now it’s about time to get real with you. If you aren’t drinking half of your water weight in ounces of water, stop being so annoying and do it. Get a prescrip for Retin-A (it's basically a super concentrated Vitamin A that makes your skin shed so much it's immune to wrinkles). Use that shit 3 times a week. Always, always, always take off your makeup, even when you can't feel your face after that lost shot of fireball you had. Never skip a night of moisturizing because dry, cracked skin is repulsive and will most certainly put you on the fast track to looking like Madonna’s arms. And DUH you should be exfoliating. At least 2-3 times a week but not more than that. You need to buy a Clarisonic (#notsponsored) ASAP and start getting facials on the reg (at least one every 3 months. If you’re a poor betch, Groupon that shit). Hon, do you have an eye cream? You need to get an eye cream. The more expensive, the better. Anyone who tells you otherwise is only looking out for themselves and should not be trusted.

Praying that your mom is hot,

The Betches

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