Is It Possible To Get My Almost-Boyfriend To Lock Me Down? Dear Betch…

Dear Betch,

I started talking to his guy at the beginning of the semester, he said he didn't want anything serious and I was okay with just having fun. We watched movies, he made me a few dinners, his frat and my sorority hung out all the time, so according to the general public we were basically “together.”  We fought like a dating couple, had sex like a dating couple and took each other to date functions like a couple.

Then about 3 months into our “friendship” he asked if we were on the same, of course as I was laying in bed with him half naked, I said yes of course we are. “Same page, different book”, as I thought things were getting more serious when  are drunken hook ups turned into sober mid day hang outs, and he called me drunk telling me he loved and needed me. While he was thinking “she is such a  great friend that I can sleep with and cuddle on the regular.”

Against my friends belief to cut him out before I got hurt, I continued on hoping that our “friendship” would end like Mila and Justin in a flashmob of love.

As the weeks continued we just got closer, and closer. Drunk Karaoke and sober lunches on campus, it was like being in a relationship without the title. But drunk me wanted the title. I would get drunk and as him why I wasn't his girlfriend, or if he was hooking up with other people. He would just i do not want a relationship I like what we are doing. So drunk me got over it, and believed I could change his mind.

As the semester started to dwindle down, and my drunken cries for a relationship status became more frequent, he decided it was time to 'just be friends' aka, he wanted to stop having sex. So I agreed to be his friend and the semester ended.

Winter break came along and I thought nothing of his daily text messages and invites to come visit him, until his texts became all day conversations and his invites became real visits where we spend the day together talking and laughing like their was nothing wrong. He taught me how to snowboard and let me sleep in his letters.

I was hooked again…

So somehow it came to my attention he slept with some other girl the same week he ended things with me, so of course I mentioned it, because we were friends right why couldn't I?

That conversation ended up me confessing I do not want to be just his friend and am mad he had sex with someone else and it was not fair that he led me on this entire semester.

To my heartfelt confessions he just simply said “sorry, can we still be friends, you're like my sister”


Fed up in my puddle of tears I told him I needed my space, and he replied I just want you in my life…


Do I keep this boy in my life, or make him realize what he missed?


The girl who was sister zoned.

Dear not sister-zoned, just rejected,

Ugh NO! I’m going to keep this brief because we’ve answered this question sooo many mf times and I’m pretty sick of it tbh. You, betch, got stuck in an almost bf situation. Every girl who gets into this type of situation thinks hers is unique and she’ll make the guy come around because she’s the exception to the rule. Well guess what, you are the rule. You should have figured out things weren’t going to play out the way you wanted when you started hoping your life would magically turn into a Justin Timberlake movie. Just sayin’.

Here’s the thing about almost boyfriends. Normally you can’t trust what a guy says for shit and have to go by his actions, except for when he says he doesn’t want a gf. That is literally the one time in your life that you need to take a bro at his word. I know it sounds like Opposite World, and it kind of is, but those are just the facts of life. When a bro says he doesn’t want commitment he means it and no amount of sex or acting like a “cool girl” is going to change his mind. 

Sorry for not picking apart the details of your particular scenario, but actually I’m not sorry because they’re totally irrelevant. So no, there is no “making him realize what he missed.” You lost. End. Build a bridge and get over it.

Also, remove “in a puddle of my own tears” from your vocabulary, Nice Girl.

Next time you catch feelings, just throw them back,

The Betches.


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