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Hookup Horror Story: A Little Nutty

Welcome again to this week’s U Up Podcast’s Hookup Horror Story, where making fun of people and laughing at their embarrassing hookups are required. Here’s another listener-submitted awkward sexual encounter for your pleasure. Let’s break it down.

Hey J & J,

Coming in hot with an awkward story and an important question about acceptable, shall we say, TERMINOLOGY in the bedroom. 

I’m a single gal in her late 20s, finding myself balls-deep in friends’ weddings lately. 

Balls-deep… literally, as we’ll soon see.

Recently I ended up going home after a great wedding and perhaps too many great drinks with guy 5ish years younger than me. All good, no problem there.

Sometimes when you’re single at a wedding, you have to rob the cradle.

 But you know when you’re borderline blacked out and then something happens that instantly snaps you into a brief moment of sobriety? 

Don’t we all. 

Well, we were hooking up and everything was going great however he was talking A LOT. I’m not even sure what he was talking about but I just remember thinking, “wow he is chatty.” It was truly distracting. 

That’s the worst. I’m not even sure you can call it “going great” if he was talking the whole time. Kinda kills the mood.

And THEN… he starts enthusiastically repeating over and over, “I wanna make you nut.” I literally laughed out loud the first time he said it. He was not trying to be funny. This was serious. I’ve never heard any dude say NUT in reference to a female orgasm. It was unreal. So, what do you guys think?? Is NUTTING in the lexicon of acceptable dirty talk? 

Lemme know.

P.s. I nutted

 

HAHAHA what!!?? I’m actually uncomfortable. I don’t know how she “nutted” after that, because I’d be done.

Can women “nut” (god, just typing that is making me cringe). Listen to Jared and Jordana discuss on the latest episode of U Up? 

What do you think? Does this track? Or is it a no? Let us know in the comments!

Image: Maddi Bazzocco / Unsplash

Claire Brodsky
Claire Brodsky
Claire is a multifaceted creative who combines the best of editorial and visuals to produce engaging content. She has been writing and creating in the fashion and media space since 2019. Previously a digital designer at Cosmopolitan Magazine, she is currently a graphic designer at Coach, content creator, and freelance writer published in Cosmopolitan, Betches, and Byrdie.