Unfortunately, there’s no drinking-focused holiday to distract your friends and loved ones from another weekend of watching basketball. Make the most of your weekend by staring out the window at the shitty weather. Wait, that’s not encouraging. Hey, at least Mercury isn’t in retrograde. Ugh, except it is. Well, fuck. It might be all bad this weekend. Sorry, betch. Comfort yourself with your weekend horoscope March 23 through 25.
Aries
With the Sun in your sign, you’re feeling pretty confident. Though, your confidence might be a little unrealistic with the Moon in the realm that rules thoughts and communication. So don’t like, start DMing and tweeting at celebrities trying to get them to date you. That’s thirsty, not sexy.
Taurus
The Sun in your house of closure makes you more introspective this weekend. You’ll probably have one of those moments where you remember everything embarrassing you’ve ever done in your entire life. Either that, or you’ll stare out the window on a rainy day and pretend like you’re in a music video. Your pick.
Gemini
The changeable Moon in your sign means your mood will be even more fickle than usual. Joy. So, like, when you get two different invitations for the same night this weekend, your weekend horoscope March 23 says you should be prepared to have that horrible inner struggle where you debate for so long you end up just saying “fuck it” to both offers and staying in for the night instead.
Cancer
You need to set up some boundaries with others this weekend. You continue to have high visibility, so, naturally, others are going to be curious about your life and probably ask you a bunch of annoying, personal questions. You don’t have to give people the whole truth. Just give them the answer you’re comfortable with. They can read the rest in your memoir.
Leo
With the Moon in your house of communication, you’ll be more open to the advice and wisdom of others. Take your friends’ advice on getting over an ex, where to get the best manicure in town, and the best six dollar wine. Do not take their advice if they say you’d look hot with bangs—you shouldn’t need your horoscope March 23 to tell you that.
Virgo
Intensity will take you into the weekend. You might be in the groove as you finish up a big project before quitting time. You might totally crush it and impress your hot trainer at SoulCycle. You might take five tequila shots and not throw up. The world is your bitch this weekend.
Libra
This weekend, there’s discontent under your roof. If you’re in a relationship, you might question whether you and your partner have the same goals for the future. If you’re single, you might feel sorta hopeless, like you’re going to die alone after choking on a grape in your apartment with no one there to do the Heimlich. Calm your shit. Things will look a lot brighter when Mercury is out of retrograde.
Scorpio
It’s not your fault that you want everything done the right way, which just happens to be your way. This weekend you’ll be agitated when others try to buck your authority. Sometimes, you need to bite the bullet and let someone else get their way. Other times, you need to put your foot down when you know which spot has best bottomless mimosas for the price.
Sagittarius
Your horoscope March 23 predicts you’ll go to crazy lengths to get what you want this weekend. Sure, we’ve all pretended to love drinking beer on a first date with the hot guy who’s weirdly into breweries. I mean, little concessions might not be a big deal, but over time, those things can add up. Watch what lengths you’ll go to when trying to get your way. You might end up happy or you could just end up fat and bloated.
Capricorn
This weekend you’ll need to balance the to-do list with the want-to-do list. Sure, you don’t want to put away that stack of laundry piled up on the chair in your room. Well, tough shit. Adulting has to get done at some point. Do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do. I mean, you can watch Netflix while you fold, right?
Aquarius
Mercury in retrograde in your communication zone means what you say and what you mean could get confused this weekend. Avoid having really important conversations over text. Sure, it sucks to call to make plans or have it out with a friend, but at least a misinterpreted emoji won’t lead to the demise of your weekend plans.
Pisces
Mercury is in retrograde in your money zone. You could think you have a lot of spare cash to blow, but you could be wrong. Don’t spend your money just to keep up with the girl whose parents still pay for her apartment—she sucks and karma will deal with her later. You gotta do what’s right for you and your bank account.
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