For all of you who don’t follow health bloggers or give a shit about what Gwyneth Paltrow will be mixing into her smoothies next year, the predictions for the top 2018 health trends just came out, and I’ve honestly been dying to know what’s in store. Let’s just say the list is barely in English. Like, I consider myself pretty extra for spending half my paycheck on natural supplements and yoga classes, and I STILL didn’t know what any of this shit was. After going through the trends, I’ve picked 5 that I could potentially see myself trying out, and you should too. I mean, New Year’s is around the corner so it’s time to think of resolutions anyway. Here are the trends that could be legit and worth doing.
1. Being Committed To Self-Care
To be honest, the closest thing I have to a “self-care ritual” is my weekly $7 polish change and like, staring at my eyebrows in an illuminated mirror while I’m waiting for my sushi delivery. Unless you have all the time and money in the world, most people aren’t regularly visiting infrared saunas or taking eucalyptus scented baths or getting regular Swedish massages (and if you are, fuck you). Anyway, making time for self-care is gonna be trending in 2018, and I’m SO on board. Any new excuse for skipping plans is amazing, so if I need to excuse myself from a group dinner to meditate on my couch for the rest of the night, I’m down. Just taking care of myself over here.
2. Taking Nootropics
Nootropics are apparently these natural brain-boosting pills that were made by Silicon Valley pros, and they’re totally gonna take off next year. They’re “cognitive performance enhancers,” and they’re supposed to help with stress levels while reducing brain fog. Kinda sounds like Adderall without the prescription, honestly. Supposedly they’re made with specific amino acids and stimulants that make your brain work better, so why wouldn’t you give them a try? I’m not opposed. Don’t judge if you see me popping pills with my cold brew at 8am.
3. Using An App To Get Birth Control
There’s obviously an app for everything, so it doesn’t surprise me that there’s gonna be a burst of birth control apps in 2018. Period tracker apps have been helping betches track their menstrual cycles since the beginning of iPhones, and I’m obviously on board with more technology to make my life easier. New apps like Maven, Eve Kit, and Nurx will connect you with healthcare pros around the clock and even deliver birth control to your doorstep, so you don’t have to stop by CVS once a month and wait in that goddamn line. At least in 2018 we’ll have to leave the house less.
— nurx (@nurxapp) November 1, 2017
4. Nut-Milk Yogurt
I’ve never actually tried a nut-milk yogurt, but swapping almond milk for skim milk was pretty harmless, so I imagine this will be similar. I mean, yogurt is healthy for you, but dairy sucks for your skin and everyone’s somewhat lactose intolerant, so maybe we should all make the switch. I imagine nut-milk yogurt doesn’t taste like some phenomenal sugar-filled YoCrunch yogurt, but then again it’s yogurt, so how bad could it be?
5. Specialty Kombucha
Kombucha is literally the healthiest drink you can buy, and it somehow has some alcohol in it, so you can tell your green juice to kill itself. In case you don’t shop at Whole Foods on the reg, Kombucha is a fermented tea drink that is supposed to be amazing for your gut and help fight inflammation in your body. Apparently Kombucha is becoming more mainstream in 2018, and regional craft brands are making their own versions of it, so you can basically be a WASPy Kombucha connoisseur in the new year. We could be facing a year of specialty crafted Kombucha and a mini Kyler Jenner. I’m so pumped.
Images: Brooke Lark / Unsplash; Nurx / Twitter; Giphy