All The Drama That Caused A Fake Missile Alert In Hawaii, Explained

I think we can all agree that every day is a waking nightmare that may or may not end in a nuclear war depending on what the stable genius illiterate bag of orange farts in a suit over in the Oval Office feels like tweeting that day. What a dream. Anyway, Hawaii had like, a real life “this is the end” scare over the weekend when an emergency missile alert was sent out on accident. Lol, oops.

Hawaii has been gearing up for a nuclear attack because, you know, the POTUS keeps tweeting insults/comparing dick sizes with Kim Jon Un on Twitter, as one does. They have been testing their nuclear siren warning system on the first business day of the month as a way to keep residents aware and prepared for an attack. Listen, Hawaii, we get it. But like, also maybe chill TF out?

These kinds of drills can put people on edge, and when the accident happened on Saturday, it certainly did just that. People received an alert that said a missile was coming for them and to seek shelter immediately. So the people of Hawaii straight up thought they were all going to die and were saying their goodbyes to their loved ones. Imagine believing you only had minutes left to live. There would be so much drama to cause in so little time. So much alcohol to consume. So many secrets to spill. I wonder how many people admitted to that time they made out with a hotdog, only to find out minutes later that this was all a false alarm.

Apparently the accident happened because an employee just like, hit the wrong button. Woof. Looks like he won’t be getting that promotion.

Anyway, now the people of Hawaii are not really feeling these emergency drills. The drills have lost some maj street cred, which means if a real attack were to happen some people’s last words might be “lol nah don’t worry about it, this happens all the time.” 

However, the emergency management agency’s administer plans to continue the drills. Here’s to hoping the next person they hire to push a button has some more expertise.

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Irene Merrow
Irene Merrow
Irene makes jokes, understands politics, and has legit perfect eyebrows, all in a day’s work. Dumb bitch women really can have it all! This bio took her three days and five nightmares to write.