Well, this was a twist I didn’t see coming. We’ve all been living for the college admissions scandal dubbed Operation Varsity Blues (somebody at the FBI has a sense of humor), where it was discovered that Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin, among others, had bribed their children’s way into universities. Despite Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannuli being indicted in federal court, probably the person feeling the most heat after this scandal is their daughter, Olivia Jade, who has been kicked out of USC and lost sponsorship deals in the process. But things might be looking up for the influencer, because today Harvard University announced that it will be giving her an honorary degree.
Since the news of the scandal broke, it’s been a rough time for Olivia (or, as rough as a time can be for a pretty rich white girl). She lost her deal with Sephora, and her patent for her own beauty line was rejected because of “vague language” and poor punctuation. Sad! But, strangely enough, Harvard is citing this as one of the exact reasons they sought her out. Harvard University spokesperson Chadworth Kensington III said, “As an institution that prides itself on not seeing color or socioeconomic status, a prospective student who can’t spell is the exact type of diversity we’re looking for.”
Some people might be confused or even angry about Harvard’s decision to give Olivia Jade an honorary degree. After all, she will be joining the likes of Steven Spielberg, James Earl Jones, and George H.W. Bush—and for what? A failed Sephora collaboration? A Youtube channel whose videos probably (I haven’t watched) open with “Hey guyssss”? Is this really what society is coming to in 2019?
But Harvard insists Olivia is the perfect person to receive this honor. “As you know, Harvard has a longstanding tradition of celebrating dropouts,” says Kensington III. And one of the main pluses of getting an honorary degree is that you don’t actually have to go to class, or step foot on campus at all, meaning it’s the perfect setup for Olivia.
In recent days, reports have been swirling that Olivia Jade is furious with her parents over their actions on her behalf, but now she is looking to rebrand herself as “The Hotter Elle Woods.” In a statement released via Snapchat Discover, Olivia expressed her gratitude for the honor in between ads for her new line of fake eyelashes: “It’s just like, just like so cool that I get to go to Harvard without actually having to go to Harvard. What, like it’s hard?”
It’s not clear how much Olivia Jade’s parents paid for this honorary degree. Some reports are saying that they paid up to $750,000 and bought a building, but Olivia Jade insists she earned this honor based on her own merit after submitting a few of her Youtube videos for consideration. She will either be attending Harvard’s commencement on May 30, 2019, or she’ll send an unpaid intern to collect her degree in her place and it will be live-streamed so Olivia’s parents can watch from prison. Sources say they are “so proud” that their daughter will become the dumbest person to receive a degree from Harvard.