We may as well accept that hangovers are just a part of life. This is why you never make plans on Sunday. Because no matter how hard you try, you will have to cancel them in favor of staying in your bed and guzzling Advil all day. Unfortunately, the older you get, the less down your body is to recover after a night of whiskey shots on an empty stomach. And even when you remember to actually drink water while you’re out (accidentally drinking a sip because you thought it was vodka doesn’t count) you still find yourself feeling like you got hit by a truck the next morning. Or maybe you actually were hit by a truck? Saturday night is always kind of a blur TBH.
In an attempt to further get our shit together, we believe that a handy-dandy guide on what to eat when you’re praying to the porcelain gods is both useful and necessary.
Here are the top five things your body is craving when you’re hungover and what to actually eat instead, because even though you feel like you’ll throw up any food you consume, the calories still count.
You’re Craving: Nachos
Eat: Beans and Avocado
Ok so while the whole green mushy thing may not SEEM totally appetizing when you’re dealing with a case of the spins, it actually is. Your body wants nachos and other greasy, cheesy shit because you’re dehydrated and low on protein and potassium. A cup of cooked black beans will give you a boost of magnesium (which will help cramps and general hangover discomfort) AND some B vitamins to help that whole “feeling like shit” thing. The avocado will boost your potassium levels, fixing your dizzy feeling, and will stabilize your sodium levels. So, grab a bean bowl slathered in some guacamole and you’ll be on the road to recovery. Just skip the cheese and chips.
You’re Craving: A pint of greasy Chinese food
Eat: Miso soup
We all, for some fucking reason, crave copious amounts of Asian cuisine when we’re experiencing regrets and borderline alcohol poisoning from the night before. But reaching for that bowl of rice and sesame chicken can actually make your hangover worse, thanks to a shit ton of salt and too much grease in your delicate tummy. Instead, grab some miso soup which will help rehydrate you (thanks, broth) and restock your depleted sodium levels. If you don’t have miso soup handy, you can get it from literally any self-respecting sushi place. Just order like 10 of them to meet the delivery minimum and be sure to say “Arigato!” to your delivery guy.
You’re Craving: A burger with bacon and cheese
Eat: An egg and smoked salmon sandwich
Like we said before, a ton of grease can make your hangover worse, and if you’re craving a burger, your body is pleading for protein. Replace that beefy burger with smoked salmon, which is rich in the good fatty acids and a great source of B12—all of which will make you feel better. The eggs have lots of calcium, Vitamin D, and even more B12. So, opt for the protein powerhouse that is an egg and salmon benedict over a greasy burger.
You’re Craving: A Bloody Mary
Eat/Drink: Tomato Juice
So for some reason we all still ascribe to the whole hair of the dog thing. It’s antiquated and super wrong, and sadly, can lead to even worse hangover symptoms. If you want the taste without the terrible side effects, make yourself a virgin Bloody Mary with tomato juice, celery, and a pickle or two thrown in. Tomato juice boosts your liver functions, which you definitely need after last night. The pickles will help even out your sodium levels, and the celery will help with hydration.
You’re Craving: Fries
Eat: Sweet potato fries
Ok so this is a win-win. You CAN have fries after your all-night drinking sesh, but make sure they’re spun from sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes are a great source of fiber, potassium, and B vitamins, all of which will aid in the recovery process. Because starches are harder for your body to quickly break down, you won’t experience a spike in blood sugar leaving you to crash later. We can’t guarantee you won’t crash later because you went to bed at 5am, but at least it won’t be from the carbs, right?