Goodbye & Good Riddance: 2020 End Of Year Horoscopes

Let’s just say it: this year was interesting. And it’s not over yet, folks! The end of the year 2020 has several major astrological events in store that could make things even crazier than they’ve already been, which is really saying something. This is a time where we may all be feeling an intense urge to get out of the house, which might be a struggle due to **gestures broadly at everything**, but keeping close with your quarantine pod (whatever that means to you) is a must. In December, we’ll experience what astrologers call the “Great Jupiter-Saturn Conjunction” following the December solar eclipse. This could lead to “massive change on a global and personal level.” Awesome. We definitely haven’t had enough of that this year.


Good news, Aries! By the end of the year your ruling planet, Mars, will stop f*cking around in retrograde and get back into forward motion. If you’ve been struggling to advance professionally, you may see those roadblocks start to fade away (or low-key realize you’ve been causing them yourself). Keep your eyes on the prize and you might just be able to make the year 2020 work for you. And they said it couldn’t be done.

Between Jupiter and Saturn’s cosmic hookup and Uranus hanging out in Taurus, be prepared for any repressed anger, hidden feelings, or things left unsaid to come exploding to the surface. You always knew you’d eventually tell your roommate you f*cking hate the way she breathes.


The healing journey that has been 2020 is almost over, but don’t let all the good work you’ve done on yourself go to waste. If Mars’ retrograding ass has brought up some difficult emotions, now is the perfect time to sort those out with a mental health professional, spiritual adviser, or friend who is just like, a really good listener. By working these feelings out now, you could put yourself on the path to letting them go forever, like the diamond earring Kim Kardashian lost in the sea.

Around the time of the of the eclipse, massive events in your surroundings will make you take a good look at yourself. Did you make the most of this year? What, if anything, did the global pandemic, sh*t show election, and general chaos teach you? The answer is probably something a little more big-picture than “higher alcohol tolerance,” though that is quite impressive.


Get ready, Gemini, because a lunar eclipse and full moon in your sign at the end of November is about to shake sh*t up in basically every aspect of your life. At least you have warning. You may find the urge to make a radical change, and I’m not just talking about getting curtain bangs. In some part of your life, you will be losing the cocoon and and stepping into the world as a gorgeous butterfly. Oh, and you might wanna go ahead and delete the cocoon’s number. Just in case.

With all this change, don’t be surprised if you don’t reach a mini breaking point before the holidays as clashes between who you were and who you are are brought to the forefront. But hey, we all get to ruin at least one Christmas in our lives, right?


Mars in retrograde has had you a little bit disconnected from your power, but with that ending on November 14th, it’s no more Mrs. Nice Bitch. You are reclaiming your time, your space, and your sweatshirt (which isn’t actually yours, but whatever). This passionate about-face will not be confined to just your public life, your *ahem* private life will be getting a little spicy too. Congrats to your partner and/or the member of your quarantine pod least likely to make it weird.

Here’s something everyone wants to hear: You might receive a financial windfall when Jupiter enters Aquarius on Saturday, December 19th. I would normally tell you to not spend it all in one place, but this year has been such trash that honestly, you should do whatever the hell you want with it. Might I suggest expensive foreign skin care products?


Now is the time for deepening and strengthening relationships, particularly the ones that made it through your whole “Mars is in retrograde” phase earlier this summer. (You know what I’m talking about. And if you don’t, they do.) Allow yourself to be wrong, to collaborate, and to cede space to a partner and you’ll be rewarded. Generosity will pay off big time during the Saturn-Jupiter conjunction, which is NBD because your sign is one of the most generous there is. Have you considered a getaway to a private island with your closest inner circle just to pretend everything is normal for a brief period in time?

This is a year of historical transformation, not just externally (we all know how things have changed there), but internally. Don’t be surprised if the end of the year sees you cutting ties or shedding aspects of life that don’t serve you. Your dog’s Instagram account can probably take a back seat.


Money troubles? You’re not alone. (No literally, we’re in a recession.) Luckily, the wheel of fortune will turn back in your favor toward the end of the year. Until then it’ll be important to save a little extra, and stay home more. Luckily that pandemic kind of has that second part covered.

On the bright side, a romantic relationship will start feeling comfortable just in time for cozy (and cuffing) season. Ride out the rest of the year with Hallmark movies, cozy sweaters, crackling fireplaces, and waiting out the ‘rona.


This year could see you catching feelings hard, either for someone you already are in a relationship with, but you forgot you liked so much, or a totally new (recently COVID tested) stranger who slides into your DMs to sweep you off your feet. Either way, you could find yourself cuffed up in time for the next lockdown—I mean, the holidays.

During Jupiter’s big mashup with Saturn, you might find yourself with a bout of good luck! Jealous. You’re waking up on the right side of the bed, your skin is moisturized, your manicure looks great, you are honestly crushing it. Too bad nobody will get to see it because we’ll all be trapped inside again—I mean, celebrating with our families.


You’ve been bumping up against the same issues over and over again this year, but astrological forces are in place for you to make a huge breakthrough. You just have to chill out, man. Think about it by *not* thinking about it. Tune in, drop out, etc. What I’m trying to say is, the solution will most likely present itself in a completely unexpected way, so the best thing to do is stay open-minded and save the brain space you were using up worrying about it to take up a new hobby or something. I hear knitting is nice?

Jupiter and Saturn’s “Great Conjunction” right around the holidays could bring you closer to a family member or help to resolve an old conflict. Actually *solving* family disputes over Thanksgiving dinner? 2020 truly is the strangest year of all.


Take a look around you, Sagittarius. You might notice that you’ve been luckier this year than you think. After a year like this one, you’re over false modesty or self-deprecating humor, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself frequently wowed by the power of you. Next step: go full Spiderman and use your great power to take on a new great responsibility. (Like a puppy, or Invisalign!)

Any nostalgia you managed to drum up for 2020 will be completely over by the time of Jupiter and Saturn’s mashup, and you’re entering 2021 more clear-headed and focused than ever before. Spend the holidays getting grounded because once 2021 comes around, your life is about to pop off, vaccine be damned!


You’re not bossy, you’re the boss… except you actually are being kind of bossy. Mars’s end-of-year retrograde has put you in a bit of a mood, but you still have plenty of time to send everyone a thoughtfully worded text before any real bridges are burned. Just do it fast. And preferably not over Insta DM.

When Jupiter enters Aquarius on December 19th, you could have “financial blessings” coming your way, which is astro-speak for “cha-ching!” Whether this be an unexpected gift, a bonus at work, or another one of those checks from the government (please be this), definitely use some of that money to invest in your future. Like how Forrest Gump bought stock in Apple.


Not to freak you out, but the end of the year is *huge* for you Aquarius, so buckle up. Jupiter enters your sign on Saturday, December 19th and from the moment forward your life basically becomes Emily in Paris, without Paris or being able to leave the house. Random offers, invitations, business deals (not pyramid schemes), and general opportunities will start to come your way as work you’ve done in the past finally comes to fruition.

Then Jupiter conjuncts with Saturn on December 21st, signifying massive changes on a global level. Big picture thinkers will be needed, and luckily your sign will be right there to answer the call.


We’re not gonna sugarcoat it, Pisces: this may not be the best time for you financially (beware people on Insta who want you to “collab” with them), but you’re still going to send 2020 off with a bang. And by that I mean you’re getting banged. The stars are aligned for a very sexy winter, and since everything else is looking dicey, you might wanna just focus on that instead.

The bad business fortunes will take a turn mid-December, at which point you may find yourself wanting to reevaluate your current “work from bed” situation since not a lot of work has been being accomplished. The end of 2021 brings big changes for everyone, so start reconnecting with the people most important to you now so you’ve got them on speed dial when aliens attack or whatever else the next year may bring.

Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.