I’m writing to you 6 days before NYE, and I’m freaking out because I don’t have a date. I used to be the serial monogamist type who always had a boyfriend, but I ended up getting my shit rocked by a guy last year. Long story short, he was a southern boy with a lot of unrealistic standards for women (wanted me to be a virgin when we met, had strong opinions about what clothes I wore, who showed up on my instagram) that left me feeling like I was not good enough. I see now that he was really insecure, but I left that relationship with feeling a lot less secure myself.
I have gone on a few dates since then, but nothing has panned out. I want to be in a relationship, not just hook up with guys, but it seems like guys my age are just not into that. I’m 24 and feeling the pressure to find someone – thanks FB for a new engagement/baby picture everyday. Maybe I’m giving off the cuffing vibe a little too much.
I guess my question is how do I get my confidence back? How do I put myself out there without scaring guys away? And all just in time for NYE?
It’s time to put down the shitty rom-coms with intertwining plot lines and come back to reality because dates for NYE are not a thing. Sorry, they just aren’t. If you have a bf already, by all means go to some lame house party, kiss him at midnight and then go home and pass out. But for the rest of us betches, NYE is for getting wasted on champagne and (maybe) making out with some rando at midnight and then not remembering the next day. Like, cool it with the melodrama and make plans to black out at an overpriced club with your besties. You’re 24, not 42.
For the record the last guy you dated sounds like a real piece of work, and you dodged a bullet. And as for finding a date post-NYE, just go into dating with less expectations. It’s a numbers game. You have to go out with a few (/many) fuckboys before you find a guy you actually like enough to date. As our fave SAB’s love to say, it is what it is. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself to find a boyfriend; if I had to bet that’s why things aren’t working out.
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