The World's Second Most Anticipated Celebrity Twins Are Here

While you were focused on Beyoncé’s twins (who are they? when are they? how can I meet them?), you may have forgotten that there are like, other rich and famous twins being born to the world. George and Amal Clooney welcomed their own Carter twins pregame bundles of joy today, a boy and a girl named Alexander and Ella. Congrats to George and Amal, not only for successfully bringing two lives into this horrible nightmare world, but also for naming them two very reasonable things. I guess this is what happens when one of you is an actor, and the other is an internationally famous human rights lawyer. Sure, one person in the relationship might be inclined to name their children Solo Cup and Dixie, but the other half of the equation is there to say, “There are starving twins in Africa and we’re naming our babies something normal.”

According to a statement released by the couple ealrier today, “This morning Amal and George welcomed Ella and Alexander Clooney into their lives. Ella, Alexander and Amal are all healthy, happy and doing fine. George is sedated and should recover in a few days.” 

Ugh. Could this couple get any cuter. Not only do you have two normally named children, but you also have time to throw a funny joke into the mix? My only qualm here is that I’m a little surprised that Amal went for the straight Clooney, rather than doing a hyphenated last name, but then again she did just give an eight-month-pregnant-with-twins speech at the UN like three weeks ago so I’m not gonna come out here and say Amal Clooney is doing feminism wrong. Speaking of feminism, I will now fill the traditional “when will she get her baby body back” portion of this article with gifs of Ruth Bader Ginsberg. You’re welcome.

Wow. That was empowering. Congrats to George and Amal (but mostly to George, who is pretty obviously getting more than what he’s giving in this arrangement) on the birth of their healthy happy twins! Let them enjoy the spotlight for now and then use the birth of the Carter twins as an opportunity to teach them a valuable lesson about knowing your own worth and taking an L when necessary.

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.