Fruit Roll-Ups: Because The 90s Live On

Being an adult kind of blows. We have bills, we have responsibilities, we can’t take a nap on our desks without being yelled at, and if we even look at treats from our childhood, we instantly gain 10 lbs.

However, thanks to Food Network, we found a way around at least one of those problems. Yes, you can bask in the fruit snack/fruit roll up pleasure of your childhood without undoing like 3 months of careful dieting and planning.  It may be a lil involved, but any betch worth her domesticity and M.R.S. degree can tackle this shit.


  • 1 ¼ lbs chopped fruit (we used 4 cups of strawberries, but like, maybe try 5 medium unpeeled chopped peaches)
  • ¾ cup sugar
  • 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 200F. In a blender, combine the fruit and sugar then add the lemon juice. Puree until that shit is velvety smooth.

Transfer the fruit concoction to a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium high heat, then reduce the heat to medium low and cook, stirring occasionally, until most of the liquid evaporates and the mixture is super thick. You’ll have to stir more toward the end – and this shit should take about 40-45 minutes to cook.

Grab a baking sheet and line it with nonstick foil. CAREFULLY spread the fruit on the foil in a thin layer – use a fancy spatula or one of those rubber things you use while baking – you know what I mean.

Bake until the fruit is barely sticky – like 3 hrs or 3 hrs and like 30 minutes. Transfer the baking sheet to a rack and let cool completely, then peel off the mat or tin foil. If it’s still moist, put it back in the oven for about 20 mins – wet side up.

Lay the smoother side down on a sheet of wax paper and use kitchen scissors to cut it into strips on the paper – you know, fruit roll-up style. Roll them up and store them for like 1 week. Take them to work inside your Lisa Frank lunch box.


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