I'm having an issue with my frenemy, which is unfortunately affecting my whole social circle. Currently, my frenemy and I are in high school and we are coincidentally involved in all of the same classes, extracurriculars, volunteer programs, everything. It just so happens that I am better than her in most of them and am in leadership positions when she isn't. Most notably, I just got promoted to be the EIC of our school's yearbook, which is a position that we both ran for. This was a super sensitive area for her as she was actually an editor last semester and now I am her boss.
Prom is coming up in a few weeks and my frenemy is hosting the Pre Prom party at her house because it has nice lighting and a big garden. Here's the thing: she invited our entire group of friends and didn't invite me. She never actually came up and talked to me about it, but apparently the excuse going around is that “she didn't have enough space”, which is complete bullshit obviously.
These past few days at school have been filled with a lot of palpable tension and essentially, Bitch Warfare. The worst part of it all is that all of my friends have completely iced me out because they know that being at my frenemy's pre prom, hating life, is better than not being there at all. Because I wasn't invited, our mutual friends are being super sketchy with me by association. Right now it feels like all of us are aimlessly walking around, all aware of the issue, but not talking about it (probably fear of confrontation, idk).
My question to you is this: do I approach my frenemy and demand an apology/explanation for her spitefulness, or would that just give her validation? Right now I'm kind of stuck on what do as I don't have friends who won't bitch about me behind my back and I'm not sure what to say to my frenemy without “sorry I'm just better than you” sounding arrogant. Please advise on how to deal with Girl World drama.
LC (she's Heidi in this situation)
First things first, the realest part of your letter is that you came right out and said it—she’s your “frenemy”. This girl is not your friend, she is just in your crowd because you are in high school and there is a limited amount of people around and I assume you have been in each other’s group for years. I don’t want to sound like your mom, but this is so high school I can’t even.
In a couple of months when you are in college, life will be different (everyone will still talk shit but it will be different, trust me). But for now, if you ever want to call yourself a betch, you HAVE to win this situation. Here are some tips.
- Fucking get on all your prom shit ASAP. This includes: your date (he must be hot AF), your dress (way sluttier than hers), your diet (it should go without saying that you have to look way better than this skank no matter what) and your makeup/hair/nails appointments (set it up now so you are set and so, once again, you look way better than this girl).
- Betches don’t beg. Trust me, this is a valuable life skill. Other people beg us for things, not the other way around. You don’t need her party and you never did. Use this as an opportunity to grow up a little bit and get creative, maybe you can go to a pre party with your date’s friends. Remember going with a bunch of bros automatically makes you the hottest one there.
- Talk to your real friends. I know you said that everybody is being bitchy to you right now, but seriously, come on. You know that you must have a few friends that you can talk to and just use your betch charm to get them back on your side. Slowly but surely, everyone will see this girl for the skank she is. You just have to keep the desperation at bay and remember that she is only doing this because she’s obvs jealous.
Look, I know this sucks now but focus on the end game. The pics. In reality that’s all anyone will remember from prom. In a couple months when you are in college, no one will ever talk about prom again but it doesn’t hurt to rack up a few more 100-likers to get the average up.