Franzia Is Being Sued

Some guy in California is suing wine producers in California for unsafe levels of arsenic in their wine. This rando decided he was bored and had no friends to drink shitty wine with, so he started testing wine samples for arsenic. He found that Two-Buck Chuck, Menage a Trois, and Franzia had three to five times the legal limit of arsenic levels in drinking water. Aka they're low-key poison. The amount of arsenic in these wines, over a couple decades, could legit give us cancer because arsenic has a lot of the same effects as smoking cigs (so if I do both do they cancel each other out??).

However, the wine industry (Nick Parker save Wine Wednesday please!) says that we shouldn't compare levels of arsenic in wine to drinking water because “people generally drink more water than wine” – lol sure (see: my fridge magnet “the hours between coffee and wine really have no purpose”). Plus the amount of arsenic in Franzia is half as much as the legal arsenic limit in Canada (read: the one thing Canada does better than the US).

Basically whoever said “the lower the price of wine, the higher the amount of arsenic” and thought that would deter a betch from slapping the bag, was seriously disturbed. Long live Franzia.


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