Four Texts That Are Always Lies

A betch's text convos are usually full of making shit up and outright lies. While some of these lies are questionable, there are some texts that are always bigger lies than the last time you told your bestie you were out of Adderall.

1) “On my way!”

Translation: “I'm still in bed high AF but I'm planning on trying to move my body within the next 10/15 minutes.”

Statistically speaking, a higher percentage of people who text “LOL” are actually laughing out loud than people who text “on my way!” are actually on their way. This is the same for all of omw!'s variations like, “leaving now!” or “be there in five!” If you receive one of these texts from a fellow betch, settle in because you're going to be waiting for a while.

2) “Sorry! New phone! Who is this?”

Translation: “I never gave a shit to save your number and now I have no idea who you are.”

This was a legit excuse in the early 2000s when losing all your contacts when you get a new phone was actually a thing that could happen. Now, because of iCloud, that shit can not happen (not that I have any idea how iCloud works.) This has made all of our lives more difficult because it is literally impossible for a betch to keep up with all the people who want to give her their number. Sometimes technology can really fuck us all. RIP flip phones.

3) “Sry I was away from my phone!”

Translation: “I was ignoring you but then you double texted so I had to answer.”

Nobody is ever away from their phone. Ever. Be careful when calling out either of this text's distant cousins “Sry phone died!” and “Sry I was sleeping!” because naps are actually an important part of every betch's life and somebody's phone dying is actually a traumatic life event and you should support the betch it happened to during this tough time.

4) “That text was meant for somebody else” (From an ex)

This text is such a bad lie it's vom inducing. As a betch, bros are probably always texting you this kind of bullshit trying to get your attention. If you're a betch and you're using this lie, it's time to explore the possibility that you are a delusional dater worthy of some serious shade.


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