Although I’m really going to need you resolution-ists to shut the fuck up with your 2017 #goals, progress pictures, and #blessed outlook for the year, there’s at least one aspect of this resolution push we agree on: It’s never too early to start getting ready for beach season. And to do so, be sure to pay attention to the hottest fitness trends of 2017, because there’s nothing a betch loves more than being trendy and pretending to sweat.
According to a report by the American College of Sports Medicine, these will be the biggest fitness movements of this year. So get the fuck on board.
Wearable Technology (aka Fitbit)
Got a Fitbit in your stocking this year? Convinced you’ll never use it? Think again, betch. Wearable technology (think Apple Watch, Garmin, Fitbit) has been making a splash for a few years now, and experts are convinced it’s not going anywhere. And as we’ve determined from a v. scientific investigation, Fitbits are def betchy. In 2017, embrace the effort of trying too hard. We approve just this once.
Body Weight Training
Body weight exercises are a fancy way of describing the crunches you do on the floor of your studio apartment because you’re too poor/lazy for a gym membership. But according to people who give a shit about fitness, apparently this trend is on the rise for 2017. Push-ups, pull-ups, planks, squats, lunges, sit-ups…these are all ways to half-ass your way into the fit lifestyle.
High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)
Unless you’re psychopathic and really are dying to run a marathon in 2017 (and you shouldn’t), you don’t have to run hours at a time to get in shape. HIIT exercises combine bursts of high-intensity exercises with short rest periods. Think Pilates, sprints and Kayla Itsines for a visual. These exercises are great at burning calories super time-effectively, but they are also a motherfucker to get done with a hangover. That much effort is certainly not betch-approved, but you do you.
It’s not just bros at the gym geeking out on the free weight machines anymore. Strength training is a pretty huge part of getting fit (namely, finding your abs under layers of winter weight) so don’t forget to include a few good ol’ bicep curls in your fitness regimen this year.
Whatever workout you choose for 2017, just remember: The more calories you burn, the more wine it becomes acceptable to drink.