Finish The Year Out Strong: Weekly Horoscopes December 7-11

This week, quarter moon in Virgo is making us all pay attention to the little things. ‘I’s are being dotted. ‘T’s are being crossed. And messages that have been sitting in drafts for days are getting one last proofread before being sent off to their desired recipient. Okay, who are we kidding? Probably 2-3 more proofreads.


Has your health and wellness routine been out of whack since the giant feast last month? Now is the perfect time to get back on track, with that good-ass quarter moon in Virgo energy to bring some discipline back into your life. Not saying you need to sign up for a full week of 6am Zoom fitness classes right now, but if your yoga mat has been collecting dust, now is the time to to pull it out of retirement. (Just be sure to give it a nice wipe down first.) 


Time to figure out exactly what you’re capable of, Taurus. With the quarter moon in Virgo maximizing your potential, this is the week to step into the spotlight and take what’s yours. The only thing standing in your way? That voice in your head telling you to minimize your power. Oh, and all the eps you still have to get through of whatever true crime podcast you’re listening to at the moment. Priorities.


Family issues? During the holidays? Groundbreaking. With the quarter moon in Virgo, don’t be surprised if some family shit comes bubbling to the surface, just in time to make things awkward as fuck around the dinner table. Be compassionate toward your family, even if they’re annoying the shit out of you. Is it so hard to put yourself in your sister’s shoes for a change? She probably stole them from your closet anyway…


Human connection has been hard to come by this year (thanks corona), but you’ll find it this week as the quarter moon in Virgo is bringing on the fun. Normally, you’d exercise this kind of energy closing down the open bar at every holiday party in the tri-state area, but this year you’re going to have to get creative. Aka, you’re going to have to do it on Zoom. At least the commute home will be a breeze! 


Put the credit card down, Leo! Your heart may be fully embracing the giving season, but your checking account says otherwise. Sure, you might want to show your loved ones how much you care by getting them a Peloton (actually a pretty good gift this year), but maybe there’s something more in your budget that you could get them instead? Like a really thoughtful text message. 


It’s gratitude time, Virgo. With the quarter moon in your sign, now is the perfect time to engage in your favorite activity: making a list. Put your hilarious “2020 Sucks” jokes aside for a sec and take some time this week to think of all the things you’re actually grateful for this year. If you’re alive, you can start there. 


As a wise Lizzo once said, “Go take a deep breath, time to focus on you.” This week the quarter moon in Virgo invites you to keep things low-key, allowing yourself to re-focus on what really matters: you. Why not be your own secret Santa and treat yourself to a little early holiday gift? There are probably a few (hundred) things in your Amazon cart you’ve just been dying to buy.


Screen time through the roof lately, Scorpio? This week, a quarter moon in Virgo gives you the willpower you need for a little bit of a digital detox. And they said it couldn’t be done. Be deliberate when setting up your No-Phone Zone, whether it be the hour before bed, during your lunch break, or just like, whenever you feel the urge to look at your ex’s page (so approximately every 10-15 minutes). 


The burnout is real this week, Sagittarius. Take it as a cue to slow the f*ck down. Nobody does work during the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years anyway. Pour yourself a stiff drink, draw yourself a bubble bath, and set Slack to do not disturb. We all deserve a nice long wind-down before taking on whatever the hell 2021 is gonna be. 


Resist the urge to meddle in other people’s lives this week, no matter how helpful your meddling might be. This week is all about you, not about getting bogged down with other people’s issues. You know they actually pay therapists to do this kind of stuff, right? Just a thought. 


How’s that $1200 from ten months ago treating you? With the quarter moon in Virgo, now is the perfect time to get your finances in order. And yes, that does mean assessing your takeout budget. Set concrete goals for your finances in 2021 now and get started on them early so you don’t wake up on January 1st in bed with your Postmate. 


You’re not one to give up a grudge easily, Pisces, but if there ever was a time to do it, it’s now. If you’ve been in a standoff with someone close to you, now is the time to finally let that shit go. Even if it means never getting your leggings back from your sister or getting Rachel to admit you were right about her ex. You know in your heart you’re right on both counts, and sometimes that’s enough. 

Images: Giphy

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.