Finally Some Good Vibes: Weekly Horoscopes January 13-17

Venus is in Pisces this week, bringing some much-needed good vibes to what has already been an insane new year. The planet is injecting some fun, flirty energy into the bleak winter abyss, and you’re definitely going to want to take advantage of the positive energy before your winter depression comes back. You’ve been warned.


Venus has made Valentine’s day come early for you, Aries, and you’re in the mood to be romantic (read: corny) as f*ck. Don’t fight it. For those rams who are in relationships, you might feel compelled to post a picture of your S.O. with the caption, “this guy” or “he puts up with me.” For Aries who remain self-coupled, put on a rom-com and live vicariously through the lead rather than trying to force romance with a f*ckboy who doesn’t deserve your love fern.


Venus has lit up your social life, Taurus, so you need to put your winter hibernation on pause. This week you will actually enjoy spending time in large groups, so don’t be afraid to reach out and plan a brunch or happy hour with friends. All it takes is one group chat, and you can resume being a hermit next week.


Career success is coming your way, Gemini! Are you ready? Venus has given you the confidence of a thousand Lizzo songs this week, meaning now is the perfect time to kill it in the workplace. Play your cards right and you can use this combination of luck and confidence to make major strides in your path to total world domination (or at least your own office).


Hope you have some airline miles saved up, Cancer, because you’ve got a serious case of wanderlust. You’re longing to GTFO for a little while, preferably somewhere warm and with the phrase “all inclusive” attached. While you may not be able to fulfill all your luxury travel fantasies at the moment, see if there isn’t a smaller-scale getaway you can plan that will satisfy your need to set an out of office message. Or live vicariously through Betches Travel. Either/or.


There’s no way around it, Leo. This week you’re feeling yourself hard. You’re posting thirst traps. You’re sliding into DMs. You’re doing full-on mirror selfie shoots in the bathroom at work. Anything you can do to immortalize this week of hotness. You can always archive the photos later when you realize you may have gone a little overboard with the Facetune.


As shocking as this may sound to you now, Virgo, this week you’re in the mood to make new friends. Wild, I know. Venus has you feeling the need to form new bonds this week, so why not bite the bullet and set up a coffee date with that person you’re constantly saying you’re going to plan a coffee date with, or actually join your coworker for that drink after work. Take advantage of any opportunity to form a new connection, because making friends as an adult is basically an Olympic level sport.


F*ck everybody else this week, you need to look out for yourself. This week is about being a little selfish. I’m not saying be a complete asshole, but canceling plans, putting your phone on do not disturb, and not sharing your snacks at work are all fair game. You’ve been bending over backward making everybody else happy lately, but Venus is here to help you refocus on self-love. Don’t waste it.


You’re attracting a lot of attention this week, Scorpio, and for once it’s not in a bad way. The DMs are full, the likes are rolling in, and your phone is blowing up with “wyd?” texts. Honestly, you might as well prepare yourself now because an ex will be reaching out to “catch up” or some bullsh*t. You know what they say, when it rains it pours.


This week has you feeling rather domestic, Sag, so don’t fight it. The Danish call this “hygge,” or the general vibe of coziness. Cancel plans so that you can stay in and make soup. Turn off your phone and watch the entire first season of The Circle. Bust out the gravity blanket and don’t even think about saying yes to a single after-work event. The team will survive if you miss a happy hour. We promise.


Put on your best ass-kissing face, Capricorn, because this week is all about schmoozing and making professional connections. Sure, pretending to care about your boss’s kids can be exhausting, but the work you put in this week could lead to big professional advancements down the line. So suck it up and pretend to be invested in Maddie’s progress with her violin lesson. It’ll be worth it later.


Your spending has been a bit out of control since the holidays, but this week is the perfect time to put down the credit card and get a grip. It had to happen eventually. Take some time to really look at your budget this week, even if it means finally facing your outrageous Postmates bill. Small changes you put in place now could lead to big savings down the line.


Venus is in your sign this week, meaning your winter funk (aka seasonal depression) has been put on a brief pause. Hooray! Instead of hiding under your covers and waiting for spring, Venus has you actually wanting to go out and see people. Incredible. Capitalize on this energy now and then you can resume your winter hibernation.

Images: tonywang7 / Unsplash; Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.