Breaking Down All The Cringeworthy Moments In The New 'Fifty Shades Freed' Trailer

Well, friends, it’s finally here. After years of waiting, the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy is coming to an end. Today we got our first look at Fifty Shades Freed, the final movie based off the series of erotica that started as Twilight fan fiction books that your mom’s bookclub read when you were in high school and then you stole from her room and read secretly. Big day for all of us here, that’s for sure.

After seeing the mildly sexy train wreck that was the first movie, we weren’t sure if they would go ahead with the last two, but they cranked them out quickly, coming out on Valentine’s Day two years in a row. You know the movies are high quality when they’re desperate to get them made before the investors are like “oh wait, this is literally the worst, we want our money back.”

In the new trailer, we get a look at Anastasia and Christian getting married (sorry for the spoiler but we actively don’t give a fuck), and there’s sure to be lots of drama in the bedroom red room this time around. There’s also the mandatory moment of her being shocked he owns a private plane, some dramatic music, and some artfully vague shots of her getting pounded because this isn’t *actually* porn.

We also see Anastasia touching a gun seductively, which is sure to end will for everyone involved. Sorry, can we get a lot less Anastasia in these trailers, and a lot more naked Christian? That would make me a lot more likely to buy a ticket, please and thank you.

The tagline in the trailer is “Mrs. Grey will see you now,” like we’re supposed to be so shocked by their marriage, but it really just sounds like you’re getting called to the Principal’s office for something you did wrong. Like we said, the movie comes out on Valentine’s Day, so start making plans now because it’s obvi going to sell out.