I think this is the year even Coachella realized that festivals are no longer about the music. By wrangling Drake and two white dudes to headline, the festival seemed to be throwing up a flag even more pale than the majority of its audience. But betches have long known that these music festivals are about so much more than the hipster bands you’ll tell everyone you saw. They are about all the Instagram posts with the coveted geo-tag that proves you’re at that weekend’s most talked about, overpopulated, and sponsored party. With so many photos flooding the feed, you better make sure your ‘fit is on fleek. That way if you get caught lying about all the bands you saw, at least you can be the hot dumb girl. Here are the styles you need to be rocking for festival season 2015.
Crop Tops & Bell Bottoms
The ’70s are back in a big way and what better way to celebrate the trend than at Coachella. The music festival is basically the modern day equivalent of Woodstock, just substitute the political activism with advertisements for Heineken. Plus, if you get high enough, you might just think that you’re watching Joni Mitchell take the stage instead of Drake. Such similar bone structure.
Long (Live) Lace
Lace is the perfect compromise for Betches who still care about fashion, but don’t want to sweat more than Rob Kardashian trekking to the fridge. Any of these long lace dresses will help festival goers stand out among a sea of short shorts and crop tops.
Feelin’ the Fringe
Straight from the runway to whatever disgusting sweat-drenched dance tent you find yourself in this weekend, the ’70s trend has also brought fringe back in style just in time for festival season. There’s no better outfit to show off whatever drug-induced moves you unleash, while allowing you to Instagram a pic that shows just enough skin. Get some fringe and thank us when the breeze sweeps through and hits you in all the right places.
Dance The Night Away in Dresses & Rompers
Dresses should only be worn by the classy lady who comes to the festival prepared. You know they won’t be passing out in the grass, where the dress would ride up revealing your Gobi tent to the whole world. They won’t be climbing on some random bros shoulders, no matter what Spring Invite their tank is repping, and they definitely (WE REPEAT: DEFINITELY) will not be using the festival grounds’ disgusting bathrooms. This betch probably even has a pamphlet with the set times and shit.
If graphic t-shirts are good enough for Beyoncé, they are good enough for me, you, everyone. We loved them so much we came up with three of our own that will do the talking for you when you’re way too messed up to do it for yourself.
Between finding out whose house you’re crashing, which parties to hit after the festival, sorting out scheduling conflicts, learning how to live without cell phone service for more than, like, two consecutive seconds, and finding out who is bringing the drugs (and how) festival weekend brings more than enough complications. Remove what you’re wearing from that equation by rocking a completely matching outfit.
Wearing a Kimono to a festival is like being left handed, it just makes you more exotic. (This according to kimono wearing betch Nicole Richie.)
Shine Bright (Like a Diamond)
Necklaces, Bracelets, Flower Crowns & Flash Tats
When it’s so hot that you’d honestly rather kill yourself than put on another piece of clothing, accessories are where your outfit is made. Even though the flower crown is dead, (yep, put it down, just leave it at home, please) there’s still plenty of other options, like head wraps, flash tats, and bracelets galore.