Fergie Is Apologizing For Her Terrible National Anthem And We Call Bullshit

On Sunday evening, Fergie hit the high note heard around the world, and to put it nicely almost everyone wished they were hearing impaired. Fergie got the message that her rendition of the Star Spangled Banner at the NBA All-Star game was indeed not Fergalicious. It was actually atrocious. It was so bad that she actually had to apologize. Like she couldn’t just quietly take the L. She had to Hillary-Clinton-style make a concession speech.

She not only apologized but made herself incredibly vulnerable. “I love this country and honestly tried my best,” she told TMZ. Fergie sounds like me going up to a professor in college trying to raise my grade. Like, I actually think physics is incredibly interesting and I tried really hard so could you make participation worth 200% of my grade and just ignore how well I actually did on any of the assignments?

Fergie also let TMZ know that she is a “risk taker, artistically” and that’s a very beautiful way of saying she is a bad singer. I am technically a risk taker when it comes to healthy eating in that I don’t eat very healthy at all. But because Fergie and I have the gumption to admit these things you must respect us. Thank you and no more questions at this time.

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