A Strongly Worded Letter To Female Bartenders

Dear Female Bartenders,

First things first I wanna say I respect women who make the choice to be bartenders as they hopefully pursue another career. However, that being said, I also demand respect as a customer of yours.

Like I really don’t appreciate you pushing your boobs up against the counter as you ask specifically what your male customers want and continue to ignore me. And then when I literally am lunging over the bar to get service you roll your eyes and walk over to me acting like I am a fat guy trying to get your phone number or something. Honey let’s be real I am Prada and you are Wet Seal. Let’s not get it confused who is really on top here.

I would be ruder to you in person but I’m just genuinely concerned you would spit your herpes infested saliva into my vodka soda. And when I reach for the lemon and lime that you “forgot” to put in my drink that are in a cup directly in front of me PLEASE do not scold me like I am a kindergartener who just drew in Sharpie all over the walls. I don’t enjoy your condescending tone telling me to get my “grimey” hands out of the cup. Like I think we know which of our hands we should be more concerned about where they have been and I’ll give you a hint, they aren’t my newly manicured ones.

Remember you work for us. I may not be the one in charge of your paycheck but I am sure as hell in charge of the tip you are not getting.


A betch just trying to get a drink.


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