229. Eye Rolling

It’s a tale as old as time: annoying person is telling a betch something that the betch DGAF about, but the annoying person continues speaking. It is in these very crucial moments that the famous “eye-roll” is shown by the betch. Our fearless leaders, famous betches from all generations, have mastered the art of a beautifully executed and fiercely bitchy eye-roll.

Back in the day when someone was scolding us for something, young betches would simply roll their eyes to convey feelings. Oftentimes you may hear people say “don’t roll you eyes at me!” taking offense to gesture. And frankly, they should take offense. Offense was intended. The eye roll, in its simplest form, means “I don’t give a fuck.”

Because saying “I don’t give a fuck” to someone is still unfortunately considered taboo in today’s society, the eye roll says it for you. It’s like saying “obvi” instead of “obviously”- it’s an abbreviation, if you will. Much like the bend and snap, it has a high success rate of getting its point across. It’s not to be confused with an equally important gift, #185 giving dirty looks. They are different but of equal power, the Beyonce and Britney of facial expressions.

As a betch, you will find that you use the eye-roll much more than you expected. When confronted with haters, the eye roll is the perfect, classy retaliation. When your drunk friend is crying over the ugly guy she likes and you just cannot with her anymore, you can show these feelings to the rest of the group. Creepy dude hits on you at the bar, eye roll that bitch. When the class try-hard darts his fucking hand up every goddam time the professor speaks, the eye roll speaks for you. Much like a glass of red wine, the eye roll can solve all of your problems.

The eye roll is a gesture only the powerful use to convey just how small their concern is for the feelings and ambitions of others. When it comes to the effort to condescending ratio, true betches know that sixty percent of the time it works every time. 


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