Embrace The Three-Day Weekend: Weekend Horoscopes May 24-26

Since we’re all planning on doing nothing at work today (and we honestly deserve it after this, the January of weeks), it’s time to explore what the planets and stars have in store for us over the course of this three day weekend and unofficial beginning of summer.

Are you destined to get the most terrible sunburn of all time while watching your crush make out with that skank, Jill? Will you finally get food poisoning after indulging in Cook-Out one too many times after a hangover? Or, will you finally get your sh*t together, clean your apartment, and manage to squeeze in some social time with your besties at the pool? Only the stars know, fam.


Embrace your curious side, Gemini. With the sun and Mercury in your sign, you’re feeling like your absolute best self, so take advantage and do something cool, like a day trip outside the five blocks surrounding your apartment, or a lake outside town to you can get your tan on.

You may also have some emotional moments this weekend surrounding money and finances—both your own and the standards of someone close to you. Like, maybe you just can’t stand to see Susan piss away $15 on Arby’s again tonight, or maybe you’re seriously debating hiring a maid for Beth. It could also be pangs of jealousy after Jade buys a bigger apartment than you which, rude. Just try to keep your head in the game and don’t overreact or lash out.


Time for some truuuuue R&R, Cancer. This three-day weekend, you’ll need to indulge in a lot of lounging, drinking, and elastic clothing. Choose a solo adventure in a dark, safe space; although an adventure with a trusted and loved partner is just as perf this long weekend.

On the flip side, Mars is forcefully making its way through your sign, so you may have a sudden burst of energy toward the end of the weekend and crave tackling something that’s been emotionally difficult. Don’t push yourself too hard, but go with the flow wherever it takes you.


Time to get your planning on, Leo. You frequently become the go-to person for organizing outings since you’re so, like, responsible, and this weekend will be no exception. The good news is that whatever you plan this weekend—be it body shot contests or a chill weekend at the country club—will be a total hit. I guess you can chalk it up to your ability to be a leader and not totally suck the life out of a party. Go, Leo.


Networking sucks, Virgo, but it could pay off for you this weekend. Since it doesn’t look like you’re going to do anything fun on your three days off (ew), embrace help and don’t be afraid to go the extra mile for a work or personal project. You may attract help from an unexpected (but welcome) source.

Unfortunately for you, you’re not likely to have any real human fun until the career and project stuff is wrapped up, so get that sh*t knocked out by Saturday afternoon so you can experience life like a real adult.


Get outside your comfort zone this weekend, Libra, and try something new for once. Mercury is in your travel sector, so a weekend getaway—be it to a tried-and-true destination or something new and exciting (like that Mexican place that just opened)—is ideal for the three days you have off.


Time to snuggle up to someone close, Scorpio. It’s a great weekend to get away with a lover and spend time together (and maybe do some fun new stuff in the bedroom). You’ve also got Mars in your travel sector, so you’ll be itching to get out of town by Saturday night. Pay attention to the urges (even the ones you usually ignore—like eating an entire Domino’s pizza alone). They could lead you to a better understanding of why you win sometimes and, other times, fail miserably.


Tis the weekend for romance, Sagittarius. Flirty energy around your sign over the three day weekend could lead to super fun daytime dates and steamy nighttime adventures. Just make good choices, Sag. You’ll also have Mars moving into your feelings zone mid-weekend, so issues that have been weighing on you with a certain person could bubble to the surface.

Maybe you’re finally ready to confront Katie about stealing your shirt and favorite pair of jeans freshman year. Or maybe it’s time to sit your partner down and explain that if he leaves his dishes in the sink one more f*cking time, you’re going on a beach vacay alone for a week.


Get your sh*t together, Capricorn, or else you won’t be able to enjoy literally any of the three day weekend. Relaxation and partying is on your radar, but you won’t be able to truly kick back until you get some chores done. Time to f*cking dust your apartment, homie.

Romantically speaking, you may run into someone you haven’t seen in a while, and the results could be steam-tastic or give you some much needed clarity about how much better off you are without them. Either way, keep an open mind.


Follow your heart and embrace your inner cool kid, Aquarius. This weekend is a chill one for you, but won’t be without its high points. If you’re solo, embrace it and get some sh*t done around the house, then top it off with a much needed spa day. If you’ve got family or friends in tow, head out of town for a relaxing poolside weekend. Again, no need to get too cray.

It’s also a super good weekend to test yourself in terms of a new exercise routine or diet. Since Mars is in your work and wellness sector, read up on what fits best with your lifestyle, then try it out. Maybe the all-cookie diet is your ticket to an amazing bod?


Low-key is the way to go, Pisces, especially when it comes to your weekend. You may think that shots by the pool and going on drunk tattoo adventures are the way to go, but, you could be wrong. Although you’re craving the feeling of being around other people, you won’t be on your game if you’re thrown into chaos or faced with literally any kind of planning.

Meanwhile, Mars is in your leisure sector, so your creativity may get a boost. Pick up and dust off that old blog you’ve been ignoring (or don’t), or start an


Time to surround yourself with people that worship you, Aries. Stick with the squad this weekend and leave fugly skank bitches out of the loop. You don’t have time for that kind of negativity. It’s also a great weekend to purge and minimize your hoarded stuff, especially with the moon in your house of healing and introspection.

Don’t go crazy tossing everything, though; hanging on to embarrassing old yearbooks could come in handy when you want to remind yourself why you shouldn’t go back to side bangs.


YOU GOT YOUR MIND ON YOUR MONEY AND YOUR MONEY ON YOUR MIND, Taurus. We know it’s a three-day weekend and relaxation is on the brain, but keep on the lookout for an opportunity to discuss your next amazing idea (or ongoing brilliant project at work).

Mars is in your communication sector, so a healing conversation with someone you’ve had a falling out with may come into the picture after you reach out. Be open and not a total bitch; this could be worthwhile.

Images: Giphy (12); Marion Michele / Unsplash

Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki
Sarah Nowicki aka Betchy Crocker writes about food, fashion, and whatever else she's in the mood to complain about for Betches and like, some other people. She resides in Asheville, NC, where she spends her time judging hipsters and holding on to her Jersey heritage and superiority. Yell at her on Instagram @sarahnowicholson