This week, the Democratic party had their big convention in Philadelphia, and it was a big opportunity for them to prove to us that the Republicans are bat shit crazy, and we should all want to sit with the Democrats. Unfortunately no Trump employees spoke this week, but there was still plenty to talk about. We’re only 100 days away from the election, and debate season is coming up quick.
ARE YOU NOT IMPRESSED?
Even if you hate Hillary Clinton, you cannot deny that it’s pretty fucking cool that we finally have a female presidential candidate. One of the convention highlights was when Hillary literally shattered the glass ceiling on the video monitor as Alicia Keys sang “Girl on Fire.” Production value was high, people. We’re also just really fucking glad that the first woman nominee isn’t Sarah Palin.
PARTY OF THE STARS
While the celebrities who appeared at the Republican convention were…um…D-listers, the Dems pulled out all the stops. Speakers and performers included Meryl Streep, Elizabeth Banks, Katy Perry, Demi Lovato, Eva Longoria, and Lena Dunham. There was also a lot more political star power, with pretty much every important Democrat turning up to rave about Hillary. Sorry Donald Trump, too bad more of your Celebrity Apprentice contestants weren’t available.
RIP BERNIE SANDERS
We’ve known for a couple months that Bernie Sanders wouldn’t get the nomination, but there was still a delusional minority that thought the convention would be some sort of revolt against the establishment. Bernie, who spent most of the week getting booed when telling his supporters to vote for Hillary, has clearly gotten over it, so it’s time for everyone else to move on.
ENOUGH WITH THE EMAILS
Last week, hackers released like 30,000 emails from DNC staffers, that supposedly show that big shot Democrats were working to help Hillary beat Bernie in the primaries. People are outraged about this, and it’s starting to look like the Russian government was behind the hack. Donald Trump is thrilled about his buddy Vladimir Putin helping him out, but the US government is fucking terrified. There will definitely be a movie about this someday.