Betch Weekly, All the News That's Fit To Bitch About
Amazon announced they are opening their first store in New York. Do you think when you walk in you automatically can take your pants off and get a pint of ice cream placed in your hand? Will there just be couches everywhere? Or will the inside just look like you entered a Chinese factory?
Another American was diagnosed with Ebola. Ebola just won’t take the hint, you can’t sit with us. It’s like the weird kid who just lingers after the party moving from person to person trying to find someone to latch onto.
A teen in Louisiana robbed a convenient store this week in a teenage mutant ninja turtle costume. His weapon of choice? Why, a plastic wrapped stick of course. He made his way behind the counter and to the register but then failed to open it. Ironically, I feel like this is probably as strong as the plot line in the most recent teenage mutant ninja turtles movie.
Like there’s some stuff going on with politics right now. Some gay marriages being denied, Hilary wearing pantsuits, and people are mad about taxes. But literally all anyone can talk about is Ebola. It’s like the newest Kardashian sister.
It came out this week in a new documentary that apparently Hitler was a meth head. Seriously disturbed that he was able to brainwash an entire nation while high out of his mind and I can’t even get up early to try and get a workout in before work.