RIP Drew Barrymore And What’s-His-Face

Everyone’s favorite lisping romantic comedy queen is back on the market, because Drew Barrymore and her husband Will Kopelman announced that they’re splitting up. We should have seen this coming, considering Drew hasn’t posted a pic of her and Will together on social media since 2015, which is obviously a sign your relationship is dunzo. After the big news broke, the two quickly released a joint statement that stressed their devotion to their kids, and that they don’t feel like a failure. Their kids Olive and Frankie (dumb yuppie names) are both still in diapers, so this probably shouldn’t be too traumatic for them. It also helps that they’re rich.

On the other hand, Drew should probably be pretty bummed that she’s going to lose out on Will’s art consultant money (which I thought was only a career for minor love interests on Gossip Girl, not real people, but okay), plus the inheritance from his Chanel CEO dad, because let’s face it: how many more movies will they make about saving the whales? Drew is great, but we can’t think of more than like three movies she’s made since we were in high school. Best of luck to the unhappy couple, and get back out there Drew! Make some movies!


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