Trump Releasing His Tax Returns Is Not Going To Happen

Did the Oscars’ many fuckups distract you from the fact that we’re living in a nationalist hellscape helmed by a sentient discount store toupee? Then please enjoy your last few moments of ignorant bliss before crashing back to reality. Late Monday night, House Republicans voted to shoot down a proposal by Democratic Rep. Bill Pascrell that would make Trump release his tax returns faster than a lead cheerleader shoots down a band geek.

If Pascrell’s plan had worked, it would have called on an obscure law letting the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) reveal Donald Trump’s tax returns for review. Unfortunately for, you know, America, hundreds of House Republicans voted to quash that plan into oblivion. On Wednesday, Senate Democrats asked the Republican chairman of the Senate Financial Committee to pretty please request the tax returns from the U.S. Treasury for lawmakers to review, and they were also shut the hell down. Basically, the possibility of getting to see the POTUS’ tax returns at this point is so vanishingly unlikely, fetch might actually happen before we figure out what Trump does with his money.

Donald Trump

ICYMI, people have been asking Trump to release his tax returns since before he was elected president, and efforts have doubled since he was surprise-elected and went under audit. Presidents aren’t under any legal obligation to release financial information to the public, but it definitely raises questions about potential conflicts of interest re: the Constitution and national security. Basically, his refusal is kind of like when someone refuses to show the results of their last STD panel, i.e., shady to the max. BTW, when Conservative Meth Head Barbie Kellyanne Conway was asked about the tax returns, she straight-up admitted that Trump isn’t going to release them unless he absolutely has to.

Kellyanne Conway

In conclusion, we can kiss Trump’s tax returns goodbye barring some political miracle. You may now return to your regularly scheduled pessimism.