I've been liking this guy for about a year now, he has known it for about that long, 6 months ago we hooked up and since then we often get together, but i made out with his bestfriend, and he was bothered, and now i am realising that i want something more with him, but he doesnt know what to do since he thinks i cannot commit, and he says that if we do start going out he doesnt want anyone to know, because it would cause drama due to my history with his bestfriend… I have no idea what to do, I'm so lost and i really need help, I haven't told any of my girlfriends and it is driving me nuts, dear betch, help me
A hot mess
Dear Marathon Sentence-Writer,
First of all: you might wanna go back and re-read the article about hating our periods–we're talking about the female kind, not the grammatical kind.
Anywho, the subject line of your email was “it’s complicated” but here’s the thing: this is actually not complicated. You fucked up, now you need to cut your losses and move on. Obviously this guy isn’t the love of your life or else you wouldn’t have made out with his best friend, so just let him go. Tbh I'm on the fence about whether I think that's a huge deal or not…like one makeout sesh doesn't exactly constitute a “history” but then again perhaps the mythical “bro code” does exist. Either way he's not interested so my ponderings are irrelevant. Once he's made up his mind that he's over it there's nothing you can do to try to change his mind and still come off as totally sane.
Also, I shouldn’t have to even say this but what the hell: no betch would ever let a guy date her in secret, like wtf why is that even an option? If you have any self-respect left you’ll shut that shit down. Any guy should be jumping at the chance to show you off to his friends, not arranging secret meetups like you two are Romeo and Juliet (you’re not). I advise cutting ties from both him and his friend. You'll be okay, there are other SAB’s in the sea.
Next time consider limiting your hookups to one per friend group,