For the past year or so, I’ve been pretty excited about the fact that fashion trends have been getting increasingly comfortable. We all just pretty much wear leggings and sneakers everywhere, which I’m sure would bring tears of joy to the eyes of all the historical betches who fought so we could wear pants instead of like, corsets or whatever. (I’m here to write about current fashion trends, so if you want a history lesson, you’re gonna have to hit up Google. Sorry.) Because we’re all lazy as shit and would rather lay in a cocoon of blankets three inches from a MacBook Pro screen while we re-watch Gossip Girl for the eighth time than go outside, fashion designers realized they should probably make some stuff that we’re actually going to buy. I mean, I’m assuming that’s the reasoning behind this summer’s chunky low heel trend. My second best guess is that the Bumble bros are tired of having to lie about their height in their bios and are on some secret mission to lower the average heel height, but I seriously doubt that anyone who is seriously invested in a dating app is making significant moves in the fashion industry.
Anyway, here are a few pairs of shoes with low chunky heels that you should prob buy if you’re looking to avoid clunking around in dated six inch stilettos all summer. Please note that this is not a green light to wear fucking kitten heels. Nobody, with the exception of middle school guidance counselors, has any business creepily hovering half an inch above the ground. The following pairs of shoes have low enough heels that you can walk into your roommate’s room to ask if she likes your outfit without twisting an ankle, but as a rule of thumb, they should still be tall enough so you have to run to your Uber that’s been waiting for 10 minutes with some difficulty.
1. Nilia by Aldo
Aldo describes these as having a “hammered, metallic heel,” so they’re basically perfect for when you’re hammered at brunch and nobody else is. With a hammered heel, you’ll never feel alone. (Kind of.)
2. VANILLA Suede Ank Tie Sandals by Topshop
These sandals have a pin stud detail on the ankle ties, which gives them a badass vibe without being too much. They’re pretty much perfect for the betch whose closet consists of a nice mix of basic, feminine styles and band tees from musicians she’s unfamiliar.
3. Decker Lace Up Sandal by B.P. at Nordstrom
If you follow even just one college betch on Instagram, you’ve probably already seen about nine million variations of this shoe in graduation pics alone. Don’t let that steer you away, though. It just means they’re great footwear for being drunk in semiformal situations.
4. Rachel Lucite Heel by Urban Outfitters
Red is definitely having a moment right now, and I genuinely believe it’s because there are so many great red emojis to use as captions on your outfit Instas. These heels are cool because they definitely have like, elements of what comes to mind when you picture a stripper shoe, but they’re only three inches tall and have some ruffle details that make them appropriate for your daily life.
5. Irenee by Steve Madden
If you’re only going to buy one pair of heels this summer (moment of silence for how unrealistic that scenario is), it should be these. The classic ankle strap heel has been a staple in every betch’s closet for a few seasons now, and this pair is updated with a chunky two inch heel for summer 2017.
6. Clearer Clear Strappy Heels by Steve Madden
These heels are actually four inches tall, which I guess isn’t really considered a “low heel,” but I’m probably not the first person who’s ever told you a white lie when referencing the length of something in inches. These will probably make your feet sweat and fog up the straps but if Kim Kardashian can strut around Calabasas in a more expensive version of these, you can wear them to the club for one night.
7. Christy City Sandal by Rebecca Minkoff
These shoes are kind of a cross between the ankle strap and wraparound designs that most of the popular heels have this summer. They’re called the Christy City Sandal, which probably sounds like something that should be semi-comfortable. If you’ve ever had to walk more than two blocks in New York City during the summer you know that there really is no such thing as a comfortable shoe, so you should probably just accept the fact that you’re going to have blisters no matter what you wear.