Anyone who has ever been to a Vegas pool party knows the familiar sight of betches everywhere in tiny Beach Bunny bikinis paired with beat-ass wedges. In fact, not to make assumptions here, but I guarantee at some point you’ve even been one of those aforementioned betches. I mean, I myself am even guilty of shaking my bikini-clad ass to Diplo in a pair of uncomfortable wedges. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the reasoning behind it—wedges elongate your legs and lift the butt. So why wouldn’t you want to wear them with your swimsuit, right? Well, because you’ll look like a try-hard, just like everyone else who’s ever attempted it. And, assuming the majority of pool parties you’ll attend this summer will be a lot less aggressive than the ones in Vegas, you’ll want a more practical, and definitely more stylish, shoe option than a wedge. Unfortunately, wearing flip-flops is social suicide, so it leaves us in a tricky position. Where do you find cute yet comfortable shoes to wear to a pool party? Here are some sandals you can wear instead of try-hard wedges or fugly flip-flops.
You know those cute gladiator sandals you love to wear? Yeah, they’re going to be a no-go when it comes to pool parties. When you’re at a pool party, you’ll want a shoe that you can easily get on and off so you can quickly get back and forth from the bar. Duh. Notice how I didn’t say “because you’ll be getting in and out of the pool” because, pro tip, no one actually goes swimming at pool parties. You came here to do laps, weirdo? Try your local YMCA for that, not a pool party. Basically, you want to look for stylish sandals that require minimal effort to put on, like these options below.
Slides are essentially just a more casual type of sandal. They’re cute, easy, and they’re not flip-flops. Like, idc if your flip-flops are Rainbows—they’re still flip-flops and are therefore still hideous. Put your Havaianas away, bitch! It’s time to elevate your poolside style and swap your flip-flops for a pair of trendy slides.
For an edgy and sporty look, you could even wear the currently popular athletic slide. Styled correctly, you’ll look super fashionable and very Hailey Baldwin-esque. Styled poorly and you’ll look like a former student athlete who posts inspirational Instagram quotes with way too many emojis in between every word, so just know your limits here. Of course, as cool as they are, I probs wouldn’t try wearing them to a Vegas pool party; pretty sure the bouncers would be having none of that.
You insist on being extra, don’t you? Fine, but still NO WEDGES! The only shoe I’ll accept with some height is a platform sandal. Platform sandals make you look extra fashionable, unlike wedges, which make you just look extra. Now, don’t take a mile when I only gave you an inch here. Keep the heel height minimal, please. Trust me, I know it seems like I’m being harsh, but I only have your best interest in mind.
We are blessed to live in a world where options of shoes to wear to a pool party (and anywhere) are limitless, so take advantage! We’ve come so far…don’t set us back now with your Payless wedges and Walmart flip-flops.
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