Coca Cola Cake: You Know You Want It

If you live in the south, you know about it. If you’re just learning, sorry about the weight you’re going to gain eating it. Coca-Cola cake is what happens when a fudgey brownie makes sweet sweet love to a bottle of cola. Then, it’s all sprinkled with salty peanuts, and you realize there is, in fact, a God; and he wants you to be fat.

For the cake:

  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 cup butter (Jesus, God, Allah, Jehovah, yes)
  • 1 cup Coca-Cola from 1 regular-sized can (don’t be cheap; use real shit)
  • 5 tbsps unsweetened cocoa powder
  • ½ cup buttermilk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla

In a large mixing bowl, combine the sugar, flour, and baking soda. In a small saucepan over medium heat, stir together the butter, cola, and cocoa powder until it boils. Remove from the heat and pour over the flour mixture – mixing to combine. Add the buttermilk, eggs, and vanilla. Mix, then pour the whole concoction into a greased 9×13 pan. Bake for 40 minutes.

For the frosting:

  • 7 oz marshmallow cream (use fluff or some shit)
  • ½ cup of butter (GIVE US ALL THE BUTTER)
  • 3 tbsps unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 9 tbsps cola, or whatever remains in the can
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 4 cups confectioners’ sugar

While the cake is baking, combine the butter, cocoa powder, and cola over medium heat in a small saucepan. Whisk together and heat to boiling. Remove from the heat and stir in the vanilla. Add the confectioners’ sugar and mix well with a whisk until the whole mixture is combined.

When you remove the cake from the oven, immediately frost it with the marshmallow cream, which will totally start melting. Once it’s all spread around, slowly pour the second frosting (the cola/cocoa one) over top. Cool for about an hour before you dig in and subsequently ruin your body. Worth it.


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