Now that ABC is almost finished exploiting the shit out of the Corinne and Demario scandal and Bachelor in Paradise itself is as boring as that time my bf made me watch baseball, the only thing people really have to talk about regarding our fave show is who tf the next Bachelor is going to be. And, tbh no one really knows because all of the options suck. Dean is proving to be a total fuckboy on BiP. Eric is a total snooze-fest. And the best choice, model bae Peter, takes marriage seriously enough to not want to get engaged to a person he’s known for six weeks. Fucking psycho.
At first, exec producer Mike Fleiss hinted that Peter would make a terrible Bachelor because he probs won’t propose at the end of the show, which is kinda the whole point. Fair. Then former Bachelor bae Ben Higgins answered the question no one asked and said he would not be the next Bachelor. K, didn’t think you would be. And yesterday we reported that Reality Steve recently came out saying ABC actually does want Peter as the Bachelor and he told them no. All three of these scenarios lead us to a place where we still have no fucking clue who the next Bachelor will be. But the saga continues, my fellow trash-TV-watching friends. And who does the latest report come from? None other than fucking Chris Harrison himself. Harrison told PEOPLE that Peter “may make a great Bachelor. It’s not like it’s completely off the table.”
Just for complete disclosure, Harrison also said shit like on Rachel’s season Peter “learned that he’s not quite ready to really settle down and really commit” and that Peter being the Bachelor would be “really hard to spin.” But that’s bullshit. If I’ve learned anything in my decades of watching reality TV, it’s that you can spin anything. You’re telling me the hottest gap-toothed model to ever grace our televisions finding a woman he’s so sure is The One that his fears of getting married are erased, despite only going on four actual dates together wouldn’t bring in viewers? Smh, ABC. You’re better than this. So here’s hoping some miracle happens and Chris Harrison works his magic so Peter bae can fulfill his high school dream and become the Bachelor. Because choices B-D are bleak.