Turns out Chipotle isn't fucking good for you, so put down your burrito right now. The New York Times did some hard hitting journalism to ruin your week. Apparently a burrito with rice and guac is close to 1700 calories – don't worry spring break is only five weeks away. That gives a whole new meaning to “guac is extra.” We already fucking knew that Chipotle was the kalteen bar of fastfood – congrats on your taco salad in a tortilla shell, it's still 1,000 calories. It's just kind of heartbreaking to know that we're eating a day's worth of calories in one sitting, especially when we're super fucking hungover. Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.