Channing Tatum Officially Wins The Sony Email Hacks

So with this whole insanity with Sony's email hacks, shit really has hit the fan. Channing Tatum – potato face and all – is here to save the fucking day. Everybody can agree that 22 Jump Street was the best movie of 2014 and possibly of the entire decade (sorry Interstellar). Well when the movie had the second best box-office earnings for an R rated movie's opening weekend Channing Tatum lost all of his chill (which, tbh he didn't have to begin with). He sent the following email to Sony:

“F YOU TEDD!!!! SECOND OF ALLLL TIMMMMME BEEEOTCH!!!!! COME ON JUMPSTREETERS WE GOT CATE BLANCHETT WIT DIS BOX OFFICE BITCHES!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH…”

Apparently, there are several more paragraphs of “ha”. ICYM the joke, “Cate Blanchett” is a reference to when Channing Tatum didn't know what “carte blanche” was. Classic mixup. This is exactly what I expected from a former stripper turned actor who's really just a frat boy in an adult's body. It doesn't fucking matter that he can't write in complete sentences, and at 34 years old wrote probs 2 pages of “haha” in an email – he's the movie star we need and the movie star we deserve.

 

 

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