Business Betch: Vogue Wants You to Pay to Look Like a Prisoner and Other Important Business News

Uber is starting a delivery service

Our favorite car service app is branching out into the courier business. Basically, you will now be able to have a personal Uber slave pick up and deliver shit for you. All deliveries will be made via bike and pedestrian messengers at what we can assume are extremely over-priced rates. Much like with the car service, customers will be able to check the status of their packages via the Uber App, making your “where the fuck is my package!?” panic attacks a thing of the past. On the down side, messengers also can only pick up and deliver items, not purchase them, so don’t count on sending some Uber slave out to fetch your morning iced coffee anytime soon (note to Uber: make this fucking happen).

Being the betchy company that they are, Uber’s delivery service will only be available in Manhattan for the foreseeable future. If the service does well, Uber has said it will become available in other boroughs and then, eventually, other cities. Read article >>

Prison Chic = IN 

A newly released edition of British Vogue showcased a few prison-chic clothing items. Inspired by Netflix’s Orange is the New Black, follow Vogue’s advice and you’ll only have to spend $1,524 to look like you reside in a women’s correctional facility, or in other words, a fucking bargain!  All due respect to Vogue, and former betch of the week Anna Wintour, but whoever said that orange is the new pink (or black) was seriously disturbed. Read article >>

Starbucks gets booted from Grand Central Station

Sbux got booted recently from Manhattan’s Grand Central Station and will be replaced by local NY coffee shop, Café Grumpy. The change was made when, upon the end of Starbucks’ lease, the Metropolitan Transport Authority prohibited chain stores from bidding on the location. A spokesman for the MTA said that kicking out Starbucks was part of an effort to keep Grand Central unique. But what’s more unique than a skinny caramel latte you only paid $6 for!? Never fear betches, this is NYC and you’re never more than 100 feet from a Starbucks near you. Starbucks will, in fact, still operate on the terminal’s west side. Thank goddddd. I mean, it’s bad enough when you have to take public transportation, but not being able to drink iced coffee out of a green straw on top of that!? I’m getting anxiety just thinking about it. Read article >>


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