My (ex?)best friend starting dating a guy last Summer who turned out to be a huge dick. He is racist/sexist/homophobic and any other “ists” you can think of. He routinely made racist jokes involving slurs including the n-word. The first time I hung out with my friend and him he accused two black guys who were just shopping in the same store we were of being gangsters and criminals. He also told my friend that he didn't feel comfortable around me and my boyfriend (I'm gay) and that two guys together is “awkward” and not “family appropriate”, when in public all we do is hold hands, if even that. My friend wanted me and my boyfriend (who is also black) to double-date with her and him and I said no for the obvious reasons. We ended up getting in a huge fight over his comments and the fact that she still chose to stay with him and didn't talk for six months, but now we are trying to be friends again. However she still talks to this guy and is in this cycle of breaking-up and getting back together with him and he still makes homophobic and racist comments about me to her. I think it's pathetic that she would still be with him, he even called her a sand n***** (she's Persian). But am I pathetic for staying friends with her?
Dear G.B.F. Betch,
Your friend sounds like an insecure doormat and I recommend you drop her. If someone is your friend, they should always have your back, especially when people are being mean to you for no reason. Otherwise what's the fucking point of having them as a friend? If she continues to date someone who puts you (and her) down she doesn't respect you or herself so there's no reason you should respect her enough to call her an actual friend.
At the very least you should depend on anyone who calls themselves your friend to stick up for you. If she's choosing this racist/homophobic loser over you or she's too scared to defend, she probably wasn't a very good friend or person to begin with. Who you date and hang out with is a reflection on you so if your friend is chill with putting up with that kind of behavior I have a hard time believing she doesn't totally suck. No one wants to chill with fucking Heidi Montag.
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