Bourbon Balls: Because You’re An Alcoholic

Learning how to combine alcohol and food just never really gets old, especially if it’s all wrapped up in a shiny holiday package. Today we give you Bourbon balls – a fun way to combine your southern boyfriend’s drink of choice (for the OLD money South, not gross trailer park South) with lots of sugar.

Bourbon balls are an old favorite with “bless your heart” grown up Mean Girls who frequent country clubs and don’t work (they’re living the dream). Here’s a taste of the life you secretly want:


  • 1 cup pecans
  • 8 ounces vanilla wafers (enough to fill 2 cups worth)
  • ½ cup unsweetened Dutch processed cocoa, divided
  • ½ cup confectioner’s sugar, divided
  • ¼ cup light corn syrup
  • ¼ cup bourbon (I used Knob Creek)

Get a big cookie sheet and spread out your pecans. Place in the oven at 325F for like, 3 minutes TOPS. Otherwise these will burn and taste like charred ass. Toss the nuts then bake for another 3 minutes if needed. When you can smell them, they’re done.

In a food processor (or a giant plastic bag) chop the vanilla wafers into crumbs. If using bag method, smash cookies into crumbs, duh. Add the toasted pecans to either your smashing bag or food processor and chop until they’re pretty finely blended. If smashing, just think of that time your boyfriend didn’t “like” your selfie on Insta, then pour out your anger.

In a medium bowl, mix together the crumb-pecan mixture, ¼ cup of the cocoa, and ¼ cup of the confectioner’s sugar. Add the corn syrup and bourbon then mix it all together.

On a large plate, sift together (or just fucking combine) the rest of the cocoa powder and the remaining confectioner’s sugar. Form the crumb and bourbon mixture into ¾ inch balls and roll them in the sugar-cocoa to coat.

Store in a sealed container for up to 5 days or eat all immediately then cry.


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