Beware Of Brain Fog: Weekly Horoscopes March 8-12

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The Sun is meeting up with Neptune in Pisces this week, and this kooky combination could leave you feeling a bit scattered, or like you’re being pulled in two different directions. The Sun is known for providing clarity, but since Neptune is known for the exact opposite, this week will mentally feel a bit like shining a flashlight into a fog machine—a mental haunted house, if you will. Have fun!


With the Sun and Neptune in your fantastical twelfth house, you may find your daydreams absolutely supercharged this week. Let your mind run wild with possibilities—your life as a famous pop star, your shotgun wedding to Chris Evans, all of your laundry folded and put away in drawers. As a wise Whitney Houston once said, “impossible things are happening every day.”


The Sun and Neptune are lighting up your house of collaboration, meaning now would be the perfect time to actually let your friends help you, for once. This is the week to delegate, both in your professional and personal life. You can’t do everything by yourself. Well, you can, but it’s really no fun at all.


Gemini? Second guessing themself? Groundbreaking. The conjunction between the Sun’s crystal clarity and Neptune’s fog is making all of your choices feel like suggestions for the foreseeable future. Avoid any big decisions, especially in your career, until these two are done messing with your head. Rude.


To go big, or to go home? That is the question. This week, the Sun will be inspiring you to take action, but Neptune is obscuring what path you need to take. Take time to really think about your moves before you make them so you don’t end up like me watching the movie Tenet: lost.


You’re playing it hot and cold this week with the Sun and Neptune in your house of intimacy. One minute you want to reenact some key scenes from Bridgerton, the next you’re seriously considering becoming a nun. Just let your partner know they are on notice for when the Bridgerton moment strikes. You never know how long it will last.


Let yourself catch feelings a little bit Virgo, as the Sun and Neptune cast a hazy glow over your house of relationships. Your practical sign could use a day of daydreaming about your own two-hour tell-all Oprah interview after marrying a prince. Who isn’t these days?


Disorganization is coming to your home life as the Sun and Neptune tangle in your organizational sixth house. Don’t be surprised to see the not-quite-dirty-laundry pile growing in the corner, or a stack of dishes that you just can’t bring yourself to clean. Sorry to your housemates.


The Sun and Neptune are turning up your romantic, creative side, meaning you’re basically Taylor Swift this week. Embrace it. Send the text. Buy the cardigan. Stream “Lover” on Spotify. Release your inner Taylor.


Tell your therapist to get ready, because this week you are poised for some major epiphanies around home and family. With your ability for insight particularly high, now is the time to face some difficult truths. Like how your childhood hamster probably didn’t actually “go away to college.”


This week it’s all about your crew, mainly who deserves their spot in your inner circle, and who is up for a demotion. If anything, this time has taught you who has shown up and who can be shown out. And yes, that does mean you can finally mute them on Insta.


It’s time to get your finances in order, as Neptune and the Sun hang out in your house of financial planning. Fire up the Excel sheets, gather the receipts at the bottom of your bag, and mentally prepare yourself to actually add up your monthly takeout expenses. Time to rip that bandaid off…


The Sun and Neptune are in your sign, helping you connect (or re-connect) to your true self. Who really are you, Pisces? This week’s mission is to find out. Experiment! Try out new versions of yourself. Just don’t let Gen Z trick you into becoming someone with a middle part.

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Images: Giphy (12)

Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.