Betch of the Week: Lana del Rey

Lana Del Rey just released a super upbeat album called ‘Ultraviolence’ and we’re more excited than Rob Kardashian in a Taco Bell.

Unlike ‘Born to Die’ and ‘Paradise,’ this album has lots of songs about misunderstood love, being sad, and money. There are some instant classics like ‘'The Other Woman’ and ‘Fucked My Way Up To The Top,’ which are two topics we’ve been trying to get out there forever, so thanks Lanz, for putting them into song. Finally someone singing about real shit.

The entire album is amazing and it’s about time we acknowledge her continued betchiness, and celebrate it publicly. Why Lana is a betch should be fairly obvious but mainly it’s because she shows zero emotion and sings depressing songs that speak to us more effectively than someone who’s actually speaking to us.

Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful? Good question. I don’t know Lan, but we’ll try because you’re such a betch.

And she isn’t afraid to call out fellow celebs on like, every song. ‘Money Power Glory’ is definitely an adult version of Miley’s ‘Love Money Party’ and it’s obvious Lana wrote ‘Black Beauty’ about her random thing with A$AP Rocky, which is chill of her, and kudos for being honest.

But regardless of where she gets her dark inspiration, we’ll probably be listening to these emo anthems all summer, and you should be too.

As the douchebags say, keep doing you Lana.


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