If there’s anything that frustrates me more than listening to obnoxious assholes chew food louder than a farm animal, it’s finding the perfect nude lipstick for my skin tone. As you can obviously see, I feel very passionate about this so I’m determined to stop buying a hundred lipsticks that all look the fucking same. Why am I like this? Asking for a friend. I go too dark and look live I’ve smeared coffee grinds across my face. I go too light and people start to ask if I’ve been drinking enough water because I look sickly. I find a color that matches too perfectly and I look no different, aka I hate myself for even trying (JK I love my egotistical self). In efforts to make all of our lives a little easier, I did the time and the research so you don’t have to keep drawing swatches on your arm like a 2-year-old. Here are the best nudes you need to reply to your next dick pic from a fuckboy for your skin complexion.
Also, please note that YES I’ve heard that your so-called “perfect nude” is the color of your nipples but given that flashing the staff at Sephora is frowned upon and highly illegal (or so I am told), I’m not going there.
For Pale/Light Skin Tones
MAC Lipstick Frost – Angel
If you’re v pale, it’s fine. We can still make you look thriving and full of life. You’ll want to find a sheer light pink with cool undertones so you don’t look yellowy and diseased. This pastel color brightens your entire face so you look rejuvenated and not like a dehydrated raisin (aka me when I’m outside for two minutes). Stay with a pearl finish to really define your lips and bring out your lip’s natural shine.
AXIOLOGY Natural Lipstick – Devotion
A subtle salmon pink can look very natural as long as it’s not too orangey. This is super ideal if you want to convince people you *do* have blood coursing through your veins and you’re like, not a vampire or anything. It’ll bring a shit ton of warmth to your face, especially if you wear some blush to complement it. Avoid matte finishes because you’ll look dry and gross.
For Tan/Medium Skin Tones
Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Matte Lip Color – Nude Nuance
Dark pink hues look seriously fab on medium skin tones. The warm color makes your lips look super full and healthy since your skin tone is warm as it is. Wear with a peach blush for the perf rosy glow.
bareMinerals Gen Nude Radiant Lipstick – Honeybun
Wearing a lipstick that just slightly contrasts with your skin tone can be done without making you look crazy. If your skin is more of a caramel shade, you’ll want a natural-looking tan that really gives off a gold shimmer. The shiny finish defines your lips for thotty kissy face Snapchats and overall makes your lips look better than Angelina Jolie’s. Just trust me, OK?!
For Deep/Dark Skin Tones
Lancôme L’Absolu Rouge Renovation – Luxe
The right shade of brown lipsticks on darker skin tones can make you look like a goddamn goddess—but only if you choose the RIGHT brown. If you choose a beige shade or literally anything lighter other than this gorg toffee, you will look like a zombie straight from The Walking Dead. A toffee blends in perfectly, giving you a glossy lip and serious upgrades from a lame AF naked lip.
Bobbi Brown Lip Color – Desert Plum
For something still full of color without being over-the-top, an intense dark pink is ~the one~. The darker pink can still pass for a vibrant nude if you’re looking for something that flushes your cheeks to make everyone think you like, just had sex worked out or something. Pair the color with a similar blush shade for a rich pink shine.
