After a long shitty day at the office, you usually need a drink. And sure, when we talk about “drinks” on this website we’re usually talking about alcoholic ones, but we also acknowledge that there are some benefits to non-alcoholic beverages as well. We’re all about being
skinny healthy, and part of that means going to sleep every one in a while. Sometimes, in order to actually calm your anxiety brain down long enough to sleep, you need a killer mix of botanicals, chemicals, and antioxidants that will either make you pass out or relax you to the point of passing out. And no, we’re not talking about whiskey.
So if you don’t really feel like heading to the hippie pharmacist and purchasing some valerian root with your oat straw, here are some bedtime beverages you probably already have in your house that won’t make you feel as bad the next day as an entire bottle of wine.
1. Herbal Tea
If you didn’t immediately think of green or chamomile tea when you saw this title, you need to spend more time on the internet. Green tea contains theanine which helps reduce anxiety. Chamomile contains compounds that I don’t feel like listing that basically make you sleepy. Many herbal “sleepy” teas contain valerian which helps reduce anxiety and nervousness. So like, overall, just head to the tea aisle and stock up.
2. Warm Milk (With A Little Booze)
So you know how you get super tired after inhaling turkey at Thanksgiving? Tryptophan, the same shit making you pass out from that overly stuffed bird, is also present in milk. In addition to making you le tired, it’ll also push your serotonin levels up, which in turn boost your mood, which, again, makes you calm. Take our advice, though, and warm it up before adding a splash—keyword being SPLASH—of bourbon or whiskey.
3. Tart Cherry Juice
Yah, your grandmother drinks this for her gout, but it would actually benefit you to pour a glass if you’re freaking out about that financials project. It helps hugely (bigly) with insomnia, lowers cholesterol, and helps improve muscle movement—all of which can lessen discomfort and make you feel like you just smoked a fatty yay!
4. Pure Coconut Water
We all reach for this shit as a hangover cure, but it also helps for those days at work when your boss literally won’t get off your back. It supposedly balances electrolytes in your body which helps us not beat our computers with baseball bats. It also helps you sleep better thanks to its plethora of vitamin B.
It’s boring, but tested and true. It releases endorphins (which we’ve all learned from Legally Blonde make you happy) which improve your mood, and therefore, leave you less stressed than before. So yeah, keep chugging that water all day.
6. Veggie Smoothies
Gag. I know the last thing you want after a shitty day at work is a veggie smoothie, but it’ll actually help you chill TF out. Celery, kale, and spinach help reduce blood pressure and the vitamin C helps your body block out allllll the stress.
7. Anything With Honey
Now we know why Pooh was always so FUCKING happy even though he’d clearly lost his pants and ability to form coherent thoughts. Mixing honey into water, milk, or even tea calms nerves and leaves you with a sense of eaaaaaase. So keep that local wildflower bullshit close by at all times.
8. Oat Straw
Ever heard of it? Honestly cause we haven’t. Basically it’s really good for exhaustion and depression and will build up in your body for about a month before you’ll see the full effects. You can find it at Whole Foods or other hipster-centric stores.