Alright so you're ready to start living a life where it's socially acceptable to get blacked out Mon-Sun. Mazel. I would give my perfectly toned right arm to go back to college. Not that my life isn't awesome now, but there's nothing better than spending your parent's money and having zero regard for other people's feelings, including your own. Since I've already been there – and basically killed it, duh – I've decided to share some of my infinite wisdom with you. You're young, you're in love, you're drunk 98% of the time, you don't know everything. For instance, you know that you need the basics to survive in college – a reliable lawyer, a good curling iron, inspirational quotes to hang on your wall, a literal shit ton of mascara – but what about all that extra stuff? Let me show you the light. Don't forget the following shit, k?