I think we can all agree that unless you’re the one getting married, weddings are all-around terrible. For one, with every engagement comes at least 60 new questions from your parents about why you’re not dating anyone. For another, the wedding and all the other smaller parties leading up to the wedding are fucking expensive. Case in point: bachelorette parties. You might think the bachelorette party is the one good part about being in a bridal party, but you could be wrong. So very wrong. In theory the bachelorette party is great—it’s like a last girls night because after you’re married, begging for a crazy night at the club like the “good old days” is usually a sign of trouble in paradise. But in reality, much like New Year’s Eve, bachelorette parties are full of high expectations that are impossible to live up to. On the bright side, you’ll probably be too blackout to remember how much of a downer it was. Whether you’re getting married or it’s one of your best friends that’s getting married, you’re going to have to face a bachelorette party sooner or later. To prepare you for your bachelorette party experience, here’s a list of what you think it’s going to be like versus what it actually is.
Expectation: We are going to party like it’s our college days.
Reality: Everyone here knows we’re old.
Expectation: At 8pm, you’re like “we’re going to stay out all night and see the sunrise!”
Reality: At 11pm, you’re like “does anyone actually want to stay out?”
Expectation: We’re going to find some hot boys tonight.
Reality: Oh, now I see why we’re all in relationships, because all the single men in here suck.
Expecation: Let’s go to a strip club, it’ll be fun!
Reality: How do guys like strip clubs so much, this is literally the worst.
Expectation: We’re all going to stay together and not get lost tonight.
Reality: The group gets split up and everyone’s phone dies.
Expectation: Tonight is all about Becky/Ashley/Anna/insert name of bachelorette here!
Reality: OMG why does everything have to be about her.
Expectation: We’re going to get some great photos from tonight.
Reality: Please delete every photo you took last night.
Expectation: We should try and get free drinks from every bar we go to.
Reality: People need to stop giving us free drinks.
Expectation: I am not going to spend too much tonight.
Reality: Why did I pay for us to ride a limo 4 blocks?
Expectation: It sucks that after marriage we can’t go out like this as much.
Reality: I never want to do this again.
Tired of cheesy bachelorette shit? Plan a BETCHELORETTE with Shop Betches. We will customize apparel for you and your squad! Tees, tanks, hats, robes, vintage denim jackets, swimwear—literally almost anything. We will create and submit your Snapchat filters. We will come up with creative and hysterical wedding and betchelorette hashtags. You can’t google how to be funny but you can ask us to be funny for you. I know, we’re like, such a good friend. For absolutely everything you need to know, click here!