While the losers from the past four seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette were busy spreading HPV on a beach in Mexico Monday night, most of them are probably back at home in Nashville watching the show air. Bachelor in Paradise is like, a weird reminder that the former cast members of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are super incestuous even when they’re not on the show. You just have to follow any one of them on Instagram to realize that these people mostly just hang out with each other. How is this possible? We all saw them go on hometown dates on their respective seasons in super different places. Did they like, just not have friends before they went on the show?
Well, the answer to the second question remains a mystery, but as far as the hometown one goes, it’s probs because none of them live in their actual hometowns anymore. In fact, I’m pretty sure everyone from The Bachelor lives in Nashville. And I’m not just saying that—I did extensive
Googling research and concluded that Nashville is like, the Bachelor reject capital of America. You read that correctly—not LA, the thirst trap capital of America, but Nashville, home to Taylor Swift and like, that one episode from Master of None. Huh?
Sure, Nashville is known as the home of country music and is basically like any big American city that isn’t on a coast, so alright, but not the best. But it’s also home to Kaitlyn and Shawn B, Evan and Carly, radio DJ/BiP bartender Wells Adams, almost-Bachelor Luke Pell, country music video girl Danielle M., racist Lee, big-mouthed Olivia and… I think that’s it, and if there are more people I’m sure our super kind and gracious readers will alert us to the fact that I left out important players via our comments section.
Sure, there’s an entertainment industry in Nashville and it’s constantly on those “hottest cities for millennials” lists
written by 40-year-olds. But you would think that you could get better gigs and Instagram ad sales if you were in New York or LA over like, the poor man’s New York or LA. But then again, maybe they just don’t make enough money peddling sugar-laden Biotin gummies to afford New York rent? Who would have thought.
It could also have something to do with the fact that many a former cast member is trying to use the show to catapult into country music stardom. For instance, ever since he lost his spot at being The Bachelor to a Dancing With The Stars reject, Luke Pell is legit touring with his “music”. I refuse to listen to it because I don’t care that much, but I assume it’s not totally terrible because people show up to his shows. At least, they do if this picture is to be believed.
Likewise, Kaitlyn Bristowe revealed on an episode of her podcast that she’s been taking singing lessons to sing country music. Like, really Kaitlyn? Being the funniest person on Snapchat and America’s Sweetheart in general isn’t enough for you? Also, WHY COUNTRY? Why can’t anybody just pick a different genre? There’s plenty of them out there. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!
Maybe Nashville is like, the new LA or something? Errrrr just a smaller, more country version of LA where you don’t choke to death on smog and self-tanner fumes. IDK.