Ryanne
Probst

Ryanne wants you to know that her name is pronounced “Ryan” and that this is her childhood trauma. Formerly published as “It’s Britney, Betch” she’s the resident recapper for all things ‘Bachelor.' When she’s not talking sh*t, she’s drinking $8 wine and contemplating ways to burn ABC studios down to the ground. Catch her on Instagram (@ryprobst) where she’s either posting pictures of her dog or sliding into the DMs of former reality TV dating stars (you know who you are).

Stuff I Wrote

The Best & Worst Fashion On 'Pretty Little Liars' Through The Years

By Ryanne Probst

Last night Pretty Little Liars returned and so did my will to live.

Is Kombucha Really Good For You? We Investigate

By Ryanne Probst

It’s Monday which means you either spent the last 48 hours in a desert dressed like a slutty homeless person, becoming one with the music or you just spent the last 48 hours crying over Snapchat watching other people party it up in the desert and wishing your were that slutty homeless person becoming one with the music.

Am I Using Too Many Face Products? Dear Betch

By Ryanne Probst

Hi Betches!

Hide Your Hangover At Work With This One Beauty Product

By Ryanne Probst

Don't you just hate when you wake up on a Friday morning after ten three vodka sodas the night before, looking like the crypt keeper and having 20 minutes to get your shit together and get to work?

Spencer Pratt Is Calling Himself A Skin Care Guru Now

By Ryanne Probst

In case you needed a break from hearing about things like the US’s casual entrance into WWIII or airlines banning passengers from wearing leggings or simply existing, then here’s some news that might lift your spirits: Speidi is having a baby.

Easter Beauty Dos & Don'ts So You Don't Offend Your Grandma Or Jesus

By Ryanne Probst

We’ve already established that Easter is pretty lit as far as holidays go.

What Type Of Basic B*tch You Are Based On Your Engagement Manicure

By Ryanne Probst

In case you missed it, there hasn’t been a snowstorm in New York in at least two weeks which means spring is finally fucking here.

The 5 Stages Of Nail Regret, A Serious Condition Affecting Manicures Everywhere

By Ryanne Probst

This year one in five betches will be afflicted with Nail Regret.

10 Times Buffy The Vampire Slayer Inspired The Coldhearted B*tches We Are Today

By Ryanne Probst

Before Edward Cullen assaulted our eyes with his pasty AF skin, there was Buffy the vampire slayer.

7 Beauty Looks For Coachella That Aren’t Flower Crowns Or Those F*cking Dutch Braids

By Ryanne Probst

Festival season is upon us which means that every basic bitch in America is about to start announcing on social media how much of a music connoisseur she is while also Googling “where can I buy flower crowns.” Even though it’s only been, like, four months of 2017 I’ve already seen too much in terms of batshit beauty trends.

'Big Little Lies' Isn't Getting A Second Season Because We Can't Have Nice Things

By Ryanne Probst

Unless you’ve been living your life off social media the past few weeks then there's no way you missed people literally losing their minds over HBO’s Big Little Lies.

We Just Found Out Something About Justin Trudeau That Makes Him Even Hotter

By Ryanne Probst

This just in: our favorite Canadian regulation hottie, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, has a tattoo.

The 'Girls' Characters Ranked By Betchiness

By Ryanne Probst

It’s no secret that we at Betches loveee HBO’s Girls.

5 Beauty Products For The Unicorn Obsessed Because If You Can't Beat Em, Join 'Em

By Ryanne Probst

The unicorn beauty trend has been getting its 15 minutes of fame recently and I don’t fucking get it.

An Ode To Sun-In And Bleaching The Sh*t Out Of Our Hair With It

By Ryanne Probst

Today we’re talking about Sun-In aka the product you begged your mom to buy you and the one friend you were allowed to bring on your 7th grade family vacation trip.

Hidden Rainbow Roots Are The Trendiest New Way To Tell Your Employer You Drop Acid

By Ryanne Probst

I have had it up to here *gestures to practically empty wine bottle* with high schoolers and beauty bloggers on Instagram trying to trend-set the weirdest shit they can Google.

Are Super Long Hair Extensions Chic Or Extra? An Investigation

By Ryanne Probst

Unless you’ve been living a full life on a hiatus from social media, you've probably noticed the drastic change in Kim Kardashian’s appearance.

What Your Lipstick Game Says About Your Weekend Plans

By Ryanne Probst

It’s Thursday, which means I can practically taste my freedom the weekend.

10 Iconic 90s Music Video Outfits That Inspired Your Slutty Middle School Wardrobe

By Ryanne Probst

Before style trends were dependent on the Kardashians, CW teen dramas, or even our Cheeto president there was the 1990s.

The Best Dry Shampoo For You Based On Your Life Choices

By Ryanne Probst

If you're like me, then your morning routine usually consists of you staring into a mirror and watching your face and hair battle it out for your attention.

Perms Are Making A Comeback, And Our Mothers Could Not Be More Thrilled

By Ryanne Probst

You know when you’re having a really great morning, you look good and you feel good, and then you read something really fucked up like margaritas are giving you skin rashes and you lose your will to live?

These Disney Princess Bikinis Are Perfect For Grown Women Who Act Like Children

By Ryanne Probst

I would just like to go one day where I don’t want to throat punch someone for sporting the latest dumbass “fashion” trend.

How To Pull Off Pink Eyeshadow Without Looking Diseased

By Ryanne Probst

It’s true that all of the best things come in pink: just for instance, my iPhone and the wine I’m holding in my hand rn.

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