Miss
Ameribetch

Unfortunately this isn’t an April Fool’s joke, and it’s too early for 4/20, but the New York Post (sigh) just published an article called “Why I Won't Date Hot Women Anymore” which is exactly as obnoxious and anger-inducing as it sounds.

It’s not chic to talk about money if you have money, but it’s also very unbetchy to get ripped off.

If feminism means being able to do everything a man can do, then it also means being able to not do everything a man can doesn't do.

Now that the ice of winter is thawing, our hearts are starting to do the same.

If you spent your winter with too much Netflix and not enough treadmill, you're probably thinking it's too late for your spring break bod.

As we all know, black is the official uniform of both witches and betches (in the case of the Olsen Twins, it's a little bit of both).

Just because you broke up with your ex doesn't mean it has to be over.

So you're in a casual thing and it's fine.

As we all know, women aren't the only guilty ones when it comes to social media faux pas.

As we've said before, heterosexual guys and girls can't really be friends, because in almost every situation at least one party is just biding their time until the other person lets their guard down and finally lets them smash.

In the battle of the photo apps, which one is the betchiest?

I think we can all agree that unless you're the one getting married, weddings are all-around terrible.

The Oscars this year started off pretty vanilla, but the bat shit twist at the end made sitting through a Godfather-movie-length show worth it.  It was like the end of Bring it On when the Clovers beat the Toros and Kirsten Dunst was like oh yeah, we did steal your shit forever so you probably deserve to win.

The bachelorette party’s location is very important in determining how much fun it’s going to be.

Everyone knows that just because you're juicing on the reg and going to SoulCycle religiously doesn't mean you can't have a cheat meal here and there, right?

Bachelorette parties are like the New Year's Eve of milestones.

Crystals have been around for a while, but getting crystals at witchy stores like Spellbound Sky and House of Intuition are becoming as basic as adopting a rescue dog.

Valentine's Day aka Singles Awareness Day is here, and if you're feeling anxiety over having to watch couples kiss while getting your latte in the morning, we've got you covered.

Someone wise once said, "It's only a lie if you get caught," and betches never get caught.

C'mon, this is 2023 and we all bring our phones to the bathroom.

Spring is around the corner … so, winter, you can go shave your back now.

Brace yourself, betches, because Valentine's Day is coming up and with it the most annoying social media posts since the #100HappyDays challenge.

We know the world is fucked because Drake is dating JLo and Archie is becoming the new Gossip Girl, but just because everything feels like the Upside Down doesn't mean you should veer into nicegirl territory.

Valentine's Day is a nicegirl holiday, but unfortunately we have to deal with it every year.

This year is already feeling like it should be over, but we're only in January.

So Doomsday the inauguration is only a few days away, and Trump is having more trouble finding performers for it than LiLo had staying sober.

WTF is happening in the country right now?

Were you a Piper, Prue, or Phoebe?

If you haven't caught on to Insecure yet, you're in luck because we got bored over the holidays and watched the entire first season and we can tell you why it's a betchy show.

Kendall Jenner just out-Kendalled herself by creating a hall of fame and then inducting herself into it.