A Betchy Analysis of This Year’s Hurricane Names

This weekend marks the tenth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, and we’ve come so far. However, a new hurricane season is upon us, with a whole bunch of new names. Here are a few names to look forward to this year:

Erika – This is probably the betchiest name that will appear in 2015, and she’s happening right now! She’s only a tropical storm, but she’s probably a bitch before she has her coffee.

Grace – Grace could either be a boring nicegirl or a crazy betch that’s ready to tear up the Atlantic. She’s probably in a sorority.

Joaquin – Joaquin Phoenix, is that you??

Kate – She’s probably hot but like super boring. Is it short for Katherine?

Odette – Is this the 1800s?

Rose – The quintessential JAB middle name. If any storm is going to take a trip to Fire Island, it’s probably her.

Teresa – Teresa isn’t drinking until she turns 21 because she’s lame.

Wanda – Just fucking no.

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