All The Shit I’d Actually Put In My Bama Rush Bag

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I’ve had low self-esteem my entire life, but nothing made me feel like a bigger sack of shit than watching Shelby Rose’s “What’s in my rush bag?” TikTok video for The University of Alabama sorority recruitment for the first time.

I was mindlessly doom-scrolling on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in the dark at 2:00 p.m., and this betch — I use the term endearingly — appeared from the heavens on my FYP in a video where she pulled SO MUCH shit out of her tote bag in preparation for rush: a first aid kit, Tylenol, blister patches, a Tide to Go pen, blotting sheets, hand sanitizer, extra earring backs, hairspray, scissors, toothpicks, and a fucking poncho for crying out loud. She came out of nowhere like a Gen Z Mary Poppins, doomsday prepper, and my 65-year-old mother all in one, and suddenly my entire existence felt inadequate. 


what’s in my rush bag !!! #bamarush #bamarushtiktok #bamarushweek #fyp

♬ original sound – SHELBY ROSE

But, there was still a bright side. In that moment, the clouds parted, the flowers bloomed, and I knew one thing to be true: There is no one, and I mean no one, I’d trust more with my life than Shelby. In fact, it would be a dream to be trapped alone on a deserted island with her. I wouldn’t be struggling to survive, I would be thriving. SPF me up, Shelbs. We ain’t dying out here. 

With MAX’s Bama Rush documentary out in the world and Shelby living her best life — or so we all think, since she pulled out of the doc and the rest of her story was replaced by director Rachel Fleit’s entire autobiography — at UA, I started thinking: What would I put in my Bama rush bag if I was trying to pledge a top-tier sorority? 

All The (Prob Useless) Shit I’d Actually Put In My Bama Rush Bag: 


-My emotional support water bottle 

-My second emotional support water bottle 

-A flask

-2 king-size Reese’s to inhale when no one’s looking 

-A Lean Cuisine I could heat up in the sorority house’s kitchen 

Tweezers in case I forget to pluck my one annoying chin hair 


Deodorant for my pits but also thigh chafing 

-Xanax in case the Lex isn’t hitting 

Tissues to wipe away my tears and snot from ugly crying  

-A foldable chair to sit in so I don’t flash my soon-to-be sisters and the house mom when I try to get up off the floor 

A push-up bra to make my itty-bitty titties look good 

-A piece of paper that tells me how to pronounce Chi Omega 

-A pack of nuts I can pretend to eat 


Flash cards with notes about myself like my favorite color in case I forget everything 

-A huge pack of black hair ties to hand out to the other pledges so the sororities mistake them for mics, kick them out, and give me a bid by process of elimination 

-My therapist’s phone number

-A Chase credit card pamphlet I can hand out to get that $200 referral bonus  

-45 extra pairs of underwear 

-A pocket bible so I fit in (Anyone know where to buy this? Amazon?) 


85 tampons

-$50 cash in case I have to bribe a betch

Poo-Pourri ‘cause sorority girls probably don’t poop

-On that note, Lactaid pills

-An emergency Diet Coke


All images courtesy of Max

Katie Corvino
Katie Corvino
Katie Corvino (she/her) is the Senior Editorial Director of Web at Betches. She first gained recognition after wearing a thong on her head at Coachella in the name of fashion. She's also known very well in the medical space as her therapist's favorite patient. If you are reading this, Leslie, she is fine. Her crippling anxiety is gone. She is cured and totally OK.